as if my last

have I spent each day
as if my last
banged every drum it ever had
unbent the hour to a month or more
through a shouldering sky?

have I set ablaze desire
blown a gale through every rift and cleft
licked melting ice off its flaming back
before embers returned to lay me flat?

have I stopped and stared and loved
sold up shop to let those in
to let them have, when times got bad
those things I wanted most?

have I felt fear and still lit the match
observed it shrink like Russian dolls
flee the husk, which kept them safe,
from layers devoid of sound?

have I accompanied a fallen leaf
on its final journey to the sea
or sunk to ground to watch honey bees
pollinate the first spring flower?

have I stripped myself so bare
not one question remained unasked
then counted tears of my adult years
in full view of everyone? 

and have I threaded a thousand stars
tied up knots to stop their clocks
and netted tomorrow in a single weave
to still make good the days I’ve got?