Terrence Oblong’s money saving tips (2)

Readers Top Money-Saving Ideas

Governments, save money on expensive wars by simply surrendering to invading armies and giving them everything they ask for.                                                                                                             Jeff Putin, Elmsdale Crescent, Croydon

Lefty trouble-makers, save a fortune buying eggs to throw at the Thatcher statue, by simply dying and coming back as a pigeon. That way you get to shit on Thatcher’s head all day long free of charge.                                                                                                                                           Walter Pigeon, Thatcher Walk, Croydon

Struggling to get by on a measly state pension? Simply become Queen and get an annual state handout of £86 million and all the swans you can eat.                                                                             T Queen, London (and most of Scotland)

Spending a big chunk of your income donating to Save The World charities? Save a fortune by  ceasing to give a fuck about the world and keeping the money for yourself.                                         Sir Jeff Starmer, New Labour Walk, Croydon

Euphonium lessons costing you a fortune? Save money by giving up the bloody Euphonium lessons.                                                                                                                                                             Jeff Tuba, Moonlight Gardens, Croydon.

Spending a fortune on money-saving-ideas books? Save money by reading Terrence Oblong’s money saving ideas for free on abctales.com.                                                                                          T Oblong, Oblong Illinois