A Load of Balls

Listen, fellas, gather round there's something you must know,

The time has come to talk about, well, "down below"

Ladies you can listen in, if there's a man you care for,

'Cos it's all important to know the whys and wherefore.

Cancer of the testes is what were gonna share,

And the simple things to do to check it out down there.

Firstly, grab the scrotum, and feel each testicle,

Stop smirking at the back, you've all done this before.

Grab each one 'twixt finger and thumb and slowly roll around,

Feel for strangeness, oddities or lumps that may be found.

Check yer epididymis - on the testes upper side,

This is where harmless lumps 'n' cysts often do reside.

The next thing that I tell you may sound a little strange,

But did you know, you can use a torch to look for signs of change.

Gently to your scrotum bring about your beam of light,

Nasty lumps won't let light through, they'll be shadow and not bright.

And if you feel embarrassed at doing what we've just planned,

You could get a close friend to give you a helping hand!

And if you do find something that is a little odd,

You should call your GP and get them to have a prod.

They'll be able to tell if there's something to be found,

And then they'll send you off to have an ultrasound.

This will enable diagnosis of any new condition,

And decide if you need to see a specialist clinician.

Chemo, Radio and surgery, and the doctor's expertise.

Are among the different therapies to combat the disease.

None of these are pleasant, but you must not lament,

Because, you see, survival rate is 95%.

So, Gentlemen, take testicular health into your own hands,

And have a regular rummage in those southern lands.

Finally, a note of caution I will leave with thee,

Do it somewhere private, not where everyone can see!