Parcel for you....Part 27
By Jane Hyphen
- 1062 reads
Vanessa laughed. It was late and she was too tired for anger to surface but vulnerable to silly exhausted giggles. The insinuation was absurd and if it hadn’t been for Annie’s infuriated face she would have suspected it was meant as a joke. ‘A robot can’t be a slave, Annie,’ she laughed, ‘they don’t suffer like we do.’
‘Maybe not…but it’s coming. People like you are blurring the lines. What is he, Mum, a machine or your husband? You can’t have it both ways!’
Vanessa sighed. ‘Perhaps you can. Look, I think we’re both very tired so if you don’t mind, I’m going to sleep now.’
‘I’m not tired, I’m used to staying up late and having intelligent, balanced debates with my friends. I’m going to go and do some research into this. I’ve got to say, there’s something off about seeing a lifeless man-machine lying next to you in bed.’ Annie’s eyes lingered over Spencer for a few seconds then she left the room, frowning as if trying to show her concern.
Annie’s combative energy winding her mother up just before bedtime was nothing new but she’d less energy to deal with it now that she was getting older. Spencer seemed like a dream house guest in comparison, lying there with such a peaceful look on his face. She didn’t want to stare too long though, there was something about him that her brain simply couldn’t make sense of. He appeared neither alive nor dead, neither human nor machine, indeed he occupied a category in her mind which was still blurred around the edges.
It was sometime in the morning that she received an alarming email from Cybermates Worldwide. Spencer had got up in stealth mode and already gone downstairs to make tea. She sat on the edge of the bed reading and re-reading it.
Your spouse has unlocked a new reward. Choose from four categories; Increased intelligence, Sexual function, Musical ability, Sporting and physical performance.
Please take advantage of all rewards offered. Failure to implement available upgrades will result in atrophy and regression of overall functioning of your cybermate/spouse and decreased lifespan.
But I like him just as he is, thought Vanessa. She’d been quite satisfied that Spencer was developing at the pace set by herself, one she was comfortable with, just as she was led to believe in the initial instruction manual. Now it seemed that she was being rushed by some external forces to upgrade him to something she wasn’t ready for. And why was this so-called reward suddenly unlocked, she wondered, was it somehow associated with him sharing her bed and how is this information shared?
She felt isolated too, discussion with Annie would likely be met with hostility and condescending comebacks. The increased intelligence option rang some alarm bells; Spencer already appeared to be pretty switched on and even when he came across as a bit dim, there was something contrived about it. The sexual function category was too terrifying for Vanessa to contemplate. Sporting and physical function was also frightening, he was already strong, what if he malfunctioned? With super-strength he could cause real harm. It worried her that any potential improvements available for her husband felt more like threats.
Putting down her phone with a heavy sigh she hauled herself out of bed and into her dressing gown but she was met on the landing by Annie.
‘Oh, you’re up early,’
‘I’m going to Dad’s for a few days. We’re meeting for breakfast in town first.’
‘Say hello to erm..what’s her name from me.’
‘Victoria,’ Annie laughed, ‘I will if you want me too but I don’t really like her to be honest, I prefer Spencer.’
‘My slave?’
‘Whatever it is that he is. I haven’t quite worked it out yet. I did some research. Some people say it’s the future of satisfactory relationships, once the models are upgraded and improved.’
‘Actually Annie,’ Vanessa lowered her voice and stepped closer to her daughter, ‘I’ve had an email to say he’s due an upgrade and I’m having real dilemmas about which type of upgrade to choose.’
‘Don’t do the upgrade then, leave him be.’
‘Apparently I have to, otherwise he’ll go into a decline, like an aged person and I couldn’t stand to watch him regressing. I’ve got four options, look I’ll show you.’ Vanessa opened her phone and let Annie read the email.
‘Gosh Mum, it’s quite scary, this world you’ve entered. Sexual function? Ew, you’re not serious, no, you don’t do that, tell me you don’t...’
‘No!’
‘But honestly, if Spencer was a real man, made of flesh and blood, would you fancy him?’
Vanessa felt a bit exposed, embarrassed. There was a bit of her that was attracted to him, mostly because his endless cups of tea and propensity towards taking care of her was causing a regular release of oxytocin. ‘Yes, I think I would. I don’t know, I mean he’s good looking but he’s..a bit sterile I suppose.’
‘He’s not human, Mum. Keep that in mind at all times.’
‘Sometimes I forget and when I remember, I feel sort of disappointed.’
‘That can happen with all men though. When we first meet them, we fill the gaps with fantasy details. Me and my friends have a test we do to see if we really like somebody. What we do is imagine them eating a peach yoghurt.’
Vanessa looked blank for a second then shook her head. ‘He can’t have yoghurt.’
‘I know, this is hypothetical though, just imagine it, in your mind’s eye.’
Vanessa closed her eyes and then winced. ‘Eurgh, I don’t know about this. I don’t like it.’
‘Chewing the fruity bits, now imagine him licking the spoon, Mum.’
‘Do you know, I’m going to choose the music option.’
‘Imagine him playing the trombone.’
‘I can’t.’
Annie laughed and went into her bedroom to pack her things.
Spencer was whistling a tune as he stood at the window, watching the birds on the feeding table. Vanessa had never heard him whistling before and his song, although it wasn’t one she knew, it seemed to at least follow a tune, it was melodious and not grating as whistling can be. But hang on, she thought, I haven’t chosen the music one yet, he hasn’t had the upgrade.
‘That’s a nice tune, Spencer. What is it?’
‘It’s called, Pumped Up Kicks. I thought you’d know it. I made you a piece of toast.’
‘It sounds sort of familiar…but not. I feel like I dreamt about it.’
‘Maybe our thinking is beginning to meld together, Vanessa. That’s supposed to happen when you’re married, you have shared thoughts and dreams.’
Vanessa laughed but found herself struck by an impaling sense of sadness. ‘But you’re not human,’ she blurted out, without really intending to.
Spencer was unaffected. ‘Neither are you,’ he said, ‘you’re only forty three percent human and the rest of you consists of bacteria, viruses and archaea so if I can get some of those living on me then we’ll become much the same.’
Vanessa pushed away her toast. ‘Yuck, I don’t want to think of myself like that or how we’d go about getting all those nasty things to grow on you, Spencer.’
‘You could cover me in live yoghurt to start things off.’
Vanessa scratched her head. Am I in the twilight zone this morning? she thought.
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Comments
Some very interesting
Some very interesting dilemmas with the upgrade! Maybe he can join whatshisname's band?
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Perspective and Questions
A clever satire of who we are and what lies at the core of humanity, including a need to control and direct others and their personal behaviour? I recall being rigorously teased because not only do I still occasionally thank it (eh, what??? yes, I know) I openly objected to a family member repeatedly laughingly swearing and denigrating “Alexa” in its stumbles and trips when first installed because I felt it was an extrapolation of his wider pre-held misogyny, safe to vocalise at a “thing”, but obviously lurking within. In doing so, an influence on younger or more vulnerable folk within hearing.
Or I too could just be a controlling Snowflake.
Good stuff, onwards
best
L
.
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Spencer is stealth mode is
Spencer is stealth mode is (as you know) the problem facing humanity. If AI joins the dots we're pretty much fucked, without the sexual function...
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This wonderful piece is our
This wonderful piece is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!
Please share/retweet if you're enjoying it as much as I am
Picture Credit:https://tinyurl.com/4527jvk6
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"..because his endless cups
"..because his endless cups of tea and propensity towards taking care of her was causing a regular release of oxytocin."
Well....yes! Made me laugh. Quintessential, of course.
This is getting to be novella length. You could definitely pull this together and publish. It's quirky, original and entertaining and would have an audience. Either way, keep going!
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