The Chase

If I were a contestant

On the infamous Chase,

My nan looking down with contentment

A proud smile upon her face.

 

For she always said to me

‘Why don’t you apply?’,

An unknown nominee,

Sure, I’ll give it a try!

 

I nervously bit my nails

Waiting to go on the set,

The general knowledge it entails

I’ll pull a blank I bet.

 

Managing to say my name

The first hurdle over,

The other three did the same

I am last in order.

 

Seat four isn’t ideal

But it could have been worse,

All I could was to appeal

My teammates not disperse.

 

For I was left all alone,

Got seven in my cash builder.

I was in the zone

One hundred grand to consider.

 

Going for the higher offer

And getting it down the table,

Like a lamb for the slaughter

My hands unusually stable.

 

Brad put two minutes

On the clock for me,

My general knowledge exhibits

A target I didn’t foresee.

 

Twenty steps for the chaser

To try to stop me winning,

My mind as sharp as a razor

With pushbacks I was grinning.

 

Although the clock counted

Slower than I thought,

I felt completely surrounded

With cameras and the sort.

 

Five seconds left

And two questions to answer,

My stomach in my chest

I perceived a calm manner.

 

Three seconds on the clock

The chaser gets one wrong,

‘Where are bee’s kept?’ I’m in shock

The question like a song.

 

‘An apiary Brad’

Is all that I could say,

The one hundred grand

Only three seconds away.

 

The chaser fumbles the last question

The clock finally at zero,

The money there for my collection

I feel like a superhero.

 

‘I did this for you nan!’

I cry on Bradley’s shoulder,

‘You were always my biggest fan!’

And then the show was over.