Dear Paranoid Wife

Dear Agony Uncle,

I feel that my husband is having an affair. I don't know what to do. Can you help me please?

Dear Paranoid Wife,

Just stop being so fucking paranoid, and just come out with it and ask him. If he says no, then it's obvious he's telling the truth, and he isn't having an affair. Why can't women just be trustworthy, and quit nagging all the fucking time? It's no wonder we cheat, and I end up shagging my secretary...