I Have A Jealous Girlfriend.

By AceV

Thu, 13 Feb 2014
  • 484 reads
1 comments
 

Dear Agony Uncle,

I love watching music videos that involve Beyonce or Rihanna. But my girlfriend gets jealous whenever she catches me watching them, and refuses to have sex with me. What can I do?

From I have A Jealous Girlfriend

 

Dear I Have A Jealous Girlfriend

What? Sorry, mate, but your girlfriend is dumb. Doesn't she realize that sex is better after you've watched Beyonce or Rihanna for a few minutes? This is because after you've watched these lovely ladies, then proceed to have sex, you're imagining Beyonce or Rihanna, so the sex is going to ro-ok! The only anticlimax is that you end up shouting the lovely ladys' names, so try not to do that. Tell your girlfriend what I just said, and if she proceeds to still get jealous, then dump her, she's not the one for you.

Certificate 15
Other
Agony Uncle
Humour

Comments

Submitted by VeraClark on

Dear Agony Uncle,

When I watch my boyfriend watch Rihanna and Beyonce music videos, he perspires heavily. Later, when we have sex, he smells like a polecat. This is putting me off having sex with him. I'm also concerned as he is 65 and Rihanna is 30. 

From a Turned-Off Girlfriend

 

Dear Turned-Off Girlfriend,

You should dump him. Anyone with a sweat on is a desire killer. No Grandad should be watching Rihanna cavorting either. Take him to a chess group at The British Legion.

From Agony Uncle 

 

laugh Can't resist it