The Unthinkable (me and you together)

We lay together like we usually did, our lips, legs and arms touching, like always. The teasing of our skins hanging in the air with the usual tint. The things that couldn't happen so near it seemed cruel, like coursing blood through leaky veins staining the air around us, it all unraveled that night.

Maybe it was my fault that it was weird, turning a night of earnest honesty into a shamble of familiar fears. There was a twist to this. What I couldn't say in the darkest of night was hindered by the fact that you were my days bliss. I would not wake up not wanting you, any less. It is easier for a strangers ears to bear the whisperings of traumatic years. For you it was only the joy I had left.I so easily fell into your arms and the safety made me recline and not have to think of anything else but you and me.

I keep on wanting to have to redo moments of time and this, with all its misgivings, this with all its affecting musings, on my part. This I want to to never forget. This I want to cherish. This I want to feel even when there is nothing else left.

The years have all gone by so fast and left me in the dust, with all the worst of things.

That night brought back something unfamiliar, with equivalent lust came the knowledge of the desire to be...free. I think I could let it go. I could look at you and not look back, I could look at you without longing, look at you without hope,without being submerged and consumed by the mere thought of it.

You will always be more than one night could bring. You will always be mine from that time when we first met to the time now when years have been spent loving moving in your orbit. Change brings with it only the inevitable truth that to this world we would both have to be, to each other lost. For this unorthodox thing that can never be and lasted longer than it should have was always going to end thus.

Other arms and other legs entwined. Other lips wrapped up in kisses divine. Other dreams that we had to the same stars, and us but a memory and soon to be a shadowless past. Only evident now and again in a sunrise at dawn or the beauty in city lights or the well intentioned laughter that almost whisper of my name and yours carried on the breeze by hearts nostalgic.