Conversation in a barber shop
By Alan Russell
- 433 reads
It always seems to be raining in Salisbury since I have been working there. This particular morning the rain was sheeting down so violently it was ricocheting off the roads and the pavements before finally settling into ever enlarging puddles. To gain some respite from the rain I decided to have a haircut and below is a rough tanscript of a conversation that went on while I was in the chair.
The personae dramatis
Barber 1 who was cutting my hair
Barber 2 who was cutting someone else's hair
Customer 1 who was having his haircut by Barber 1 - Me
Customer 2 who was having his haircut by Barber 2
I sat in the chair and as the apron went around my shoulders Barber 1 asked me the usual questions about life, work, families and where I lived. It was not a one way question and answer session as I also asked him similar questions.
We both became aware of another customer being blown into the shop, take his jacket off and take a seat in the chair next to us.
BARBER 2
Howzya doin man? No work today?
CUSTOMER 2
Not good man, No work as the boss hates working outside in the rain. No work no money.
BARBER 2
That's terrible man, No work, no money. I forgot.....what is it you do for a living?
CUSTOMER 2
Electrician.
Barber 1 and Customer 1 trying hard to suppress giggles.
BARBER 2
Yeah, that is not a good job in the rain. Howaz your date the other night.
CUSTOMER 2
OK I kinda of guess. No real magic.....the beard let me down a bit.
BARBER 2
What man? Didn't she like beards? You had one when you first met her at that cafe.....you know the one where all the loners go?
CUSTOMER 2
No man. She said she liked the beard ya know and all that. Its just that she didn't seem to be lookin me in the ye ya know.....seemed to be looking at me just below my chin most of the way through our pizza. Then, man this is so embarassing....
BARBER 2
Go on
CUSTOMER 2
She told me I had a piece of cheese stuck in my beard. Man I was so embarrassed.....I mean she had been looking at it for nearly half an hour. This lump of cheese. I guess it might have out her off a bit.
Barber 1 and Customer 1 unable to look at one another via the mirror for fear of breaking out in full laughter,
BARBER 2
You gonna see her again man.
CUSTOMER 2
I don't think so man....there was no real vibe with her. Nothing bad but nothing good either. I think what must have really put her off me was.....ya know.....I found the cheese man and it was well and truly stuck in there...right about there (as he pointed into the growth) anyway, I got it out and ate it.....
Barber 1 and Customer 1 desperately trying to avoid eye contact in the mirror and Customer 1 corpsing under the apron.
BARBER 1
Would you like your eyebrows trimmed sir?
CUSTOMER 1
Yes please.
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