Omar's Diary for 12th March 2018
By Alan Russell
- 877 reads
I must say, my deeply ingrained senses of propriety, class and sophistication that run through my aristocratic veins and is deep-rooted into my DNA was rocked to the core over the weekend. So much so that I dropped my Dreamies.
The Horse and Hound, that is H&H to those members of the servant species who are associated with equines and the Spectator, albeit slightly left wing and liberal, are quite suitable publications for the club like atmosphere of my reading room here in Omar Towers. However, as far as that tabloid which I refuse to honour with the nomenclature ‘newspaper’ entitled the Sun is concerned, I shall be a long time before forgiving my Servants for even thinking about bringing it across the hallowed threshold of our home.
I did hear that it was given away for absolutely free when the Servants bought some fuel for the limousine. I think they should use another garage in the future to avoid this sort of calamity. If that is what the owners of the publication have to do to achieve any semblance of a circulation then that must be a fair reflection of the content and its appeal. It might be something that Lagerboy feline would read next door but Mitsie and myself will not be perusing its pages.
For those of you have not read my diary previously, Lagerboy lives in the property next Omar Towers. He is a bit of ruffian, might be a good chap really but he is still a ruffian. He spends his days outside in the street terrorising other felines and I understand he has terrorised some unsuspecting members of the servant species. I try my best to keep Mitsie away from him as much as possible.
Still, I am sure it will be used at some stage as a floor covering around the current en suite facilities. I just wonder how absorbent it is?
One never sees the Spectator or H&H given away with fuel and one never sees it used as floor covering around en suites. I assume must be something to do with their glossy texture and resulting low absorbency rather than any modicum of respect for the literary content.
Lady Servant reads H&H avidly looking for names and pictures of other servants with equine interests she may know or through the veterinary section when they write a special on some aspect of equine care. Man Servant and I work through the Spectator but because the articles are so interesting and detailed we can only really manage one a day.
Man Servant has just finished reading ‘Force of Circumstance’ by Simone de Beavoir. From what I have seen over his shoulder she looks like she was a very interesting member of the servant species. There was one phrase which struck both Man Servant and myself as especially prescient of our social media these days. Back in the late 1950’s or very early 1960’ Jean Paul Sartre, a very intelligent member of the servant species, penned the phrase ‘consumer literature’ to describe the fashion for writing of the day to be that of a society that has lost its grip on the future. Both of us could not help thinking that what was written nearly sixty years ago could so easily be applied to the current trends of writing on social media platforms. It seems to be predominantly pictures and very little actual written work except of course on ABC Tales and other sites that my diaries appear on.
Mitsie and I have had a rotation of where our respective territories are in Omar Towers. Not so long ago she had prime access to the main bedroom and I confined myself, voluntarily you understand, to the landing. I relinquished my prime position to allow her the opportunity to bond with Lady Servant. This bonding seemed to go very well and is now fulfilled. Lady Servant thinks the world of Mitsie so I am back on the divan.
Lady Servant did rather snitch on me earlier today, Monday, as she informed Man Servant that although I spent most of the day sleeping on the bed my comatose induced behaviours did cause her some discomfort. I am absolutely 100% certain that I do not snore. To take a philosophical view on it, I have never been woken up by it so therefore it does not happen. I was also accused of certain gaseous emissions. Again, I am sure if this had really happened then as with the snoring I would have been woken up. After all, such behaviour does not become a feline such as myself with quite superior genetics. Mitsie might do both but I am far too much of a gentleman and firm believer in the application of one’s discretion to mention such things. I know both of my servants have these issues when they are sleeping as I have been kept awake at night.
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Please once again convey to
Please once again convey to Omar my appreciation of his literary criticicism. As he points out wisely there is a point even for tabloids.
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