Omar's Diary for Saturday 10th February 2018

My diary for the 8^th February 2018 was generally well received and I am grateful for the comments added to it except for one in particular.  The correspondent welcomed my diary which was very pleasant but there was a minor reference within the comment to me being rude.

‘I do enjoy his rudeness’  (insertponceyfrenchnamehere, 2018)

I do not believe that my observations and comments are rude but if they were interpreted as such I do apologise most sincerely for any misunderstanding conveyed.  I do not actually look on my comments as being rude in anyway. They are my observations on how some behaviour traits fall below the standards of behaviour that I was brought up to respect and that I am only commenting on those behavioural discrepancies.  Thank you for commenting anyway.

Man Servant is a little down this evening as his team, Arsenal in case any readers were not already aware, lost to their North London rivals; whom he has the greatest of difficulty to mention by name by one goal to nil.  I understand this result has cost him £5 in a casual bet with a colleague at ‘work’ whatever that is.

It has been a foul day here in Hampshire and both of my Servants have been at home for most of the afternoon.

Man Servant and I worked our way through ‘The Times’ as what daylight there was faded into the darkness of night.   The time ‘For torches to burn bright’ (Act 1, Scene 5, Romeo and Juliet).  We do not have torches in the baronial halls of Omar Towers so the electric lights came on instead.

We skipped past the prominent headlines of a scandal that has hit a major charity and how a very famous chef has had several of his business ventures go out of business.  There was no mention of any of the books being cooked in this page three article.  On the same page there was a headline that the servant mother of a billionaire who sent his favourite car into space earlier this week ‘joins him space’.  At first glance I thought this might be referring to part of the payload being her ashes, but no.  It is because at sixty-nine years old she took to the catwalk in a fashion show which the newspaper described as being ‘in the stratosphere’.  Mention about being reeled in by a headline, this one did it quite effectively.

For both of us there was very little on the leaders’ page to grab our attention; misleading headlines or not?

Towards the back of the paper there is a section headed ‘New Readers’.  I thought as Man Servant may have bought a subscription to the paper he would be mentioned.  How disappointing to see that all it was is a list of the servant babies, who incidentally only need a big cigar to complete their impersonation of Churchill, that have been born to existing servant readers.  One female servant baby was born four days overdue.  Man Servant pities her future partner as she will be trying to compensate for that lateness for the rest of her life.  Also, if these new members of the servant species read within days of being born they would indeed be true miracles of intelligence.

Once again we were both reeled in by a headline that was most misleading.

While Man Servant was waiting by the family limousine this morning for Lady Servant he made a fuss of Lagerboy, a feline of lessor breeding than myself, from next door.  When Lagerboy was a kitten Man Servant used to play with him for hours in our back garden.  This morning Man Servant played a little with Lagerboy who mildly objected to being picked up and cuddled so he was put down on the driveway.  The next thing I hear is man Servant referring to him as ‘An ungrateful little bastard’. (I do apologise if that offends anyone but it is true and I have a duty to record the truth in these diaries.)  I heard this exclamation very clearly within the Omar Towers so I am sure that servant neighbours also heard it.  I saw Man Servant’s right leg this afternoon when he changed his trousers and there were at least five distinct shallow puncture wounds in his calf where Lagerboy had attacked him.

I am tempted to believe that with such behaviour traits that Lagerboy shows distinct signs of being a sociopath.  I myself, would never ever stoop to such base behavioural patterns.

Last night Mitzy gave both of my servants a severe fright.  She was asleep on the bed and was sleeping so deeply that neither Lady Servant or Man Servant could wake her.  They both exclaimed that they both thought the worst had happened but after a few seconds Mitzy did manage to wake up and relieve their anxieties.

It is now Saturday evening and the rain is still beating against the windows so everyone in Omar Towers has settled in for the night with books except for Mitzy and myself who will be returning to the arms of Hypnos until tomorrow.