Hold

ever watched a flower
start little
grow taller each day
blossom over change of seasons
grow tall
yet so amazing and beautiful

ever watched a flower
fall seed by seed to the floor
leaf by leaf
fluttering to the floor
slowly getting smaller and emptier
untill nothing is left
not even a trace

I have buried my nephew
my own mum
friends and even close pets
I thought watching that flower
was just a flower
though I know a heart only lasts so long
scars and blood can be bandaged
dignity can be restored
yet limbs cannot
you make me happy
so happy
I go in to shock when I think of you
thinking of me
let alone loving me
If I had one wish

every candle I see
every shooting star i witness
I'll close my eyes
and wish can some one hold me tonight
I know i dont deserve it
I wont deny that
Im no attention seeker
I hate attention
Im just me
I can say that a million times
yet I am just me
nothing special ...

why is it that I can't cry
when I bury my own mother in the ground
yet cry tears of red when im laying on the floor
i deserve to be hit
once or twice
kicked till I bleed
I'll take it
for someone is better off than I am
this love will die
cause baby im dieng inside
not because of you
im just tired
running on empty
like a car with no gas
a star with no flame
a flower with no bees
It not my heart
I could make a million excuses
I could say
I have baggage
I could lie and not tell you anything
though why should I lie
not your fault
It mine ...

you make me smile at anything
laugh at tickly feeling inside
making me feel like this is so wierd
yet perfect
like a dream come true
a movie picture
a love story
I just want to pinch myself
slap myself
am I still dreaming
or
am I in a nightmare

I dont ask for anything
not even from santa
or my closet brother ,
i only can wish
and that wish never happens
I know it will never come true
but come next shooting star
time blow candles out
I'll close my eyes and wish
wish hard
wish
wish for someone to hold me tonight

1 tear , from the soul
2 tears , from the heart

I can say
I love you
I miss you
but knowing you
Is just as important
you are amazing angel