THE WATER BABY

Gold cherry

By Alice Hamilton

Mon, 29 Jan 2018
  • 4040 reads
17 comments
 

 

Harlot! Shameless hussy!  

Hiss my sisters.                   

I clutch the baby to my breast. 

 

Monster, deformed creature!

Shrieks my mother. 

I gaze at the child in my arms. 

 

Eyes blue as summer sky, 

Cockle shell ears. 

Lips softly pink, sea-rose petals.

 

Vile wretch, thankless daughter! 

Yells my father. 

He boils with rage, he seethes with hate.

 

Away from here! Away! 

You bring dishonour!     

I curse you and your brat! Be gone! 

 

Golden curls, pearly skin,

Tiny body, 

Two arms. And two legs: cause of shame.

 

An angry splash, salt spray, 

Slithering tails. 

They leave my rock pool. So must I.

 

But first I remember. 

My shepherd boy.  

The talking, listening, laughing. 

 

And hiding from the storm.

In a dark cave

Sheltering together, sheer bliss. 

 

The thunder and lightning. 

Such pain, such joy. 

Loving, sleeping. Waking alone.  

 

Just rippling waves, sea breezes. 

No golden boy. 

No seeing my lover again. 

 

Yet hearing him sometimes, 

Tending his flock, 

Playing the flute, making music. 

 

My daughter wakes and cries.

Starfish fingers.

She waves her hands, points to the shore.

 

In the distance, a flute. 

Now she is still. 

She listens. She hears. And she smiles. 

 

 

Certificate PG
Poem
Fantasy

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

A masterly re-telling - well done

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you! This piece started life as 500 words of prose. It seems to work better as a 200 word poem.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Really enjoyed reading your creative poem.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you for the feedback. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece - another experiment in poetic form!

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

I love the way this changes tone midway through, from the pain to the lyrical memory of love and, with the last line, a glimpse of some future happiness.  Beautiful piece.

The picture is beautiful - just wondering if it needs an acknowledgement or if it's on a creative commons licence?

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you for your comment. The picture is a ‘public domain’ work of art from Wikimedia Commons.

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

This beautiful, mysterious fantasy poem is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!  Do share/retweet if you enjoy it too.  

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thanks again for your lovely comment ... and the cherries!

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Fabulous piece, powerful and touching.

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you! I enjoyed writing this piece. Sometimes I ask myself ‘what if?’ and the answer really surprises me.

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

The image of the starfish fingers I found very affecting. The whole poem a triumph.

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thanks for your feedback ... and thanks to the baby next door for giving me some ideas!

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

It was a good idea to write a poem here rather than prose and this one came out beautifully. People are like that they scorn and hate anything they don't understand and see as a threat. Making such judgements even close family exiles you. Sometimes it might even be simply jealousy.

The description of the cave and shelter from the storm and the young lovers is wonderfully romantic, as too the yearning for her lost lover. And her love for the love child so trusting and so gentle .

Good work! Keep well! Tom

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

It was a good idea to write a poem here rather than prose and this one came out beautifully. People are like that they scorn and hate anything they don't understand and see as a threat. Making such judgements even close family exiles you. Sometimes it might even be simply jealousy.

The description of the cave and shelter from the storm and the young lovers is wonderfully romantic, as too the yearning for her lost lover. And her love for the love child so trusting and so gentle .

Good work! Keep well! Tom

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thank you for your thoughtful comments - much appreciated! I enjoyed writing this piece and I am pleased that you enjoyed reading it.

 

 

Submitted by Nolan on

A lovely poem wonderfully sensitive. It must be terrible for a young mother to have to give up a baby or lose a child.

Nolan &&

 

Submitted by Alice Hamilton on

Thanks very much for comment. Yes, I agree it must be terrible for a mother to be parted from her child, and also terrible to become an outcast for keeping her child. As airyfairy says (see above), in the last line there is a glimpse of future happiness: amor vincit omnia - love conquers all!