She's Blinded By Her Own Fog
By amberlina
- 656 reads
She opens her eyes every morning but she's blinded by her own fog. She trembles. She falls. No one to pick her up again: What she longs for the most. Her beating heart swells. Is it still beating? Her soul is blocked her chest feels heavy. Days seem endless, if only she could end this endless torment, this never ending strife. How can people go on smiling when pain is contagious? Love is over rated. You give away your heart for it to be ripped apart ' no pill, no drug, no fucking counselor could never cure it. FUCK. I could slit your throat with my pain, and watch you bleed to death over and over again. When all your blood has spilt, I'll cut myself and give you mine. Maybe then I'll be good enough for you. I could blame you everyday for the rest of my life, but I cant be tortured any longer. I need you to want me, to need me, to fuck me like you did. To fucking taste me like I taste you; your taste lingers all around me. I can small you on my pillow every night ' the trace you left for me to miss. I miss you.
I'm a jagged little pill, and I've been used for too many times. When will I bet set free from this fucking hell, his bleeding heart of mine. I'll never forgetthe times that fucking blade sliced my skin. Like a butcher and his veal. Like a carpenter at his work, opening up a side of me no one will ever see. Let the maggots be released from my skin. A thousand cuts, a million scars to end a life. And how bout that times I drank that fucking poision, sliding down my throat. The devil on the slopes. Eroding my every sense of desire. So acidic, my blood boils: it longs for a taste. I scream, "DIE BITCH, FUCKING DIE. You'll never work. I'll never die.
Its as if God is mocking me, making me a stay a while to witness his evil work. This fucking cage, this prison of souls. I bleed on the inside, no sign of it: vanished. Like your ghost. The ghost of a good thing. No such thing. No trace, just scars ' the ones u left on my doorstep. Burden me with shit no one eles can take. I'm your fucking wasteland. Why cant I fucking breathe. I'm grabbed by surprise, shaking me: I hang on for the wild ride. No air, I need air ' need room, need space.
You see me smile, but who am I on the inside? There's a trophy daughter for you. Something to brag about after you fuck that hoe. But did you ever stop and think about how I'd feel? That's it, look away. Noone will ever know. And that's exactly how I like it.
The pain strikes me over and over again. I cant move. So many wounds, my palms sweaty. Comtemplating suicide: balcony looks inviting. Beconing for me, smiling its evil grin. Watch as I fly to the ground and break into a million tiny pieces. Watch me smile. Watch me dance, watch me put a bullet through my head and fall straight to the ground. Ignored, still. What the fuck do I have to do for you to notice me? If I died tomorrow, you can join the world's joyful dance. I'll be watching you in heaven, and I'll dance right along.
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