Eye
By animan
Tue, 08 Apr 2008
- 1549 reads
3 comments
You on the up escalator, me
on the down – have we met?,
do I know you? -
did you
sell me something once? did we, in some previous
reinvention, meet?; or,
was that glance, that
scythe, an abstraction, just
forgotten as soon as happen?
what is this?; an incising?; some incision
in my heart?
Are you the moon veiled,
veiled by waifs and strays;
are you the sea with the shadow on the sea-floor
of the boat, fishing in the night, that floats,
as if air-suspended, beside the cinque terre,
near Shelley’s drowning, near
his burning on the beach,
where his body opened and
showed his heart,
the sudden silence of his heart.
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Comments
I really liked this. The use
Permalink Submitted by BeamsAndVoids on
I really liked this. The use of questions and the sparceness of it was very effective. not sure about "an incising". I found it a little jarring. Maybe another word could better describe the cutting/ tearing of the heart. Other than that though I did like it, especially the ending.
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Maybe dissection, piercing
Permalink Submitted by BeamsAndVoids on
Maybe dissection, piercing or laceration? Just an idea. Keep up the good work. :)
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