Divine Inspiration

“Double Absinff, crushed ice wiv a splash o black currant and a titchy bit o angostura bitters please darlin‘”

Delboy said ginning at the new bar maid, giving her a cheeky wink when she turned up her nose in disgust. He turned with an irritated frown as he saw Rodney enter the bar and walk casually up to join him.

“Wot you doin’ ere Rodders I fort I told yer to go down the market and sell them shell suits I got from Trigger yesterday?

“You must be jokin’me Del, bleedin’ shell suits? It’s two fousand an’ eight not nineteen eighty bloody eight”

Del grinned wickedly and rubbed his hands together noisily.
" Bonne de douche, bonne de douche, just turn on the old charm wiv the old gels, don't be a plonker all yer life Rodders, they'll love 'em

Rodney stepped a little closer to Del, glancing down at his drink, he sniffed at it screwing up his face

“Blimey Del wot’s that you’re drinkin' it stinks disgustin’

“ This, Rodder’s bruv’ is a drink wot those arty farty types woz drinkin’ before they cottoned onto LSD, reckoned it inspired em to write fings wot they don’t normally fink of.”

Rodney digested this piece of information with a silly grin on his pale face.

“ I don’t fink you woz meant to put black currant in it though Del”

“Ah well see Rodders I ‘ad to disguise it a bit, 'cos they usta t' call it Green fairy” Del whispered, looking round sheepishly to see if he had been overheard.

“I aint avin nobody finkin I’m a fairy, know wot I mean?”

Yeah… but why do you wanna go drinkin wot the arty farty types drink for anyway Del?” chortled Rodney. “You aint no Oscar Bleedin' Wilde”

"I know Rodders but I got done for selling wiv out a licence yesterday and I need a bit o divine inspiration as they say, I gotta fink up a good story to tell the beak when I’m up in court on Friday or I’ll be doin a bit a porridge, it’s me fird time in free monfs I’ve been bleedin' nicked!"
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