F: 07/09/2004

This morning I received a card from my Latin teacher. I wrote perhaps 6
letters at the end of the year, and have had two replies. The
predictable ones, anyway. I think she is the only teacher I am going to
miss. She would have been the only thing that would have kept me at
that school. The only thing - but she's doing Latin and not Classics,
so there was nothing at all to tempt me to stay. That morning in March,
drying my hair. What a flash of inspiration, of clarity - what was I
doing? Just because it seemed too much of a hassle to stay where I was,
run the old path. That was no reason to be bogged down in the rubbish
that my school had started to spew. And now I have left, I am making a
new start. A whole new me (welcome into the world). I'll spread my new
silver wings. Oh Goddess, it feels good to be this way, to be
metaphorically stripped of all the burdens of the past five years. I am
new-born, I am myself again. Here I am, centre stage, with my whole
life ahead of me. I am here, waiting just on the cliff-hanging edge. Am
I here? (I could spend days arranging word order. English is so hard to
jumble, though) Hannah told me yesterday that she and I were the only
ones to get an A in Drama. Perhaps that should be? I hope I know what
matters. She suspects me of being arrogant. Maybe I am, I don't mind.
The new me is arrogant and confident and bursting out of her glass
shell. Welcome, I say again. A real update, then: still buzzing with my
GCSE results, they're so wonderful I can't believe it. On Saturday I
got a letter from NYCGB, offering me a place as a Soprano 2 in the main
choir. I live from day to day, oh what a prize! The weather is
reflecting my mood. My parents have turned the aga on and off almost
with the days. Welcome to the indian summer within my heart.