N - Before I die

Did you know there's a corner shop round the corner?
Why didn't anyone tell me? You shower of bum gravy.
A year I've lived on the crisp-packet estate and trudged
Like a soldier in "Dulce&;#8230;" (12 minutes!) to Somerfield,
I've left earwigged acne-puss sex tales behind me; With
Ahmed if you buy one anecdote, you get one free. Bless.

Did you know you can pinch music off t'internet, like?
Why didn't anyone tell me? You - don't tell me nout.
Though I love music so much, I'd do for her that thing
She fake-sighs about after gulping gin-soaked olives,
Nirvana it was not: to shell out fifteen quid on a CD
Every year. Funny? Well, your name is mud, honey.

Did you know this is the last ever day I will be alive?
Why didn't anyone tell me? You might've - duh - said.
I would have thrashed my Astra through Welsh D-roads,
"Grandma's hands" loud, lunched on Dairylea Dunkers,
(With jumbo chipsticks, not breadsticks). Said, so long.
Now there's just time for a last fag, bed, the telly left on.