Our company

By span

Sun, 22 Feb 2009
  • 1482 reads
4 comments
 

This is such a crass draft.
So, any suggestions would be gratefully, gratefully received.

Our company

Be sorry no more!
Call this number, tell us your apology story, and employ one of our professional contritionists
to visit the apologee in their natural home environment.

We draw our professionals from across the employment spectrum, take your pick from among
a stuttering chimney sweep, meticulous nanny, blunt auxiliary, hypnotherapy PHD beauty.

All come with a service guarantee and will leave the reciprocator wanting to make you a cup of tea,
change your bedlinen, comb your hair the next time you get nits.

Keep yourself clean of spit bombs, bile brokering, unreasonably demanded explanation extensions.
You need not even leave your meeting/ bed/ party.

Please call this number to start the process of getting back to better. Our company are experts in the art of responsibility.

Certificate U
Story
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Ewan on
Hi, I think this is pretty special for a 'crass draft'. The only phrase I found even slightly infelicitous was 'explanation extensions' You might want to play around with 'exculpatory exegesis(thanks Chuck)' or some kind of variation on that and what you have. Topical and tart. I liked it already Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by AKT on
It's exactly like a cheap tacky advert. I certainly can't think of any suggestions to improve it. Yeah it's crass, but in the same way that what it's portraying is. It's ugly and vulgar. It's an advert. I think you've captured it really well.

 

Submitted by tcook on
It is crass - and that's what's needed. Maybe it could become more crass - really go for that appalling corporate non-speak language. I think it's very good as it is but you could try just going for it and see what comes out.

Submitted by Leonie on
yep, i agree with tcook. make it vile. then play with the form and stucture to make it span-beautiful