Quiet

Lying, forgotten, on my bedroom floor
Amongst old sheets from a sleepover
I still don't belong
And listen to music from other worlds
As if I could bridge the gap between my dream and myself
Imagining I'm
Someone else except that only makes it worse and I spiral into
depression
I wish you were here for me to hold on to.
Missing you is pain indescribable
As if nothing matters any more
I read out loud from someone else's poems
Someone I thought I used to know
Change perspective

Lying amongst the sheets
And underwear I should have put away two days ago
Everything would be all right
I think
If so and so happened
But then it doesn't
And winter folds around my mouth
Like sleep
A tune I recognize
And long again to be among those I covet
My mind is often in this world

Can someone save me?
I never dream the dreams I long for
At least dreams could take me places life never could
What about death?
What, indeed, about it?
On the cliff-brink of tears as I hear a language I strain to
understand
As if I was different from a human
Not a mortal like the rest
Curse my wandering mind
Nothing is coming to help me
Nothing will break this cycle of thick weeping I hold back from the
surface
So fiercely
Wishing I could use more punctuation creatively when I write
There's no use looking back on what I used to think
It's a shame I got up this morning
Only I long for an escape
Unavailable
Unattainable
I wish I could love you half as much as I do
But even then I'd suffer from wanting you too much