Something not so new

All night they had argued. It started way earlier even before they were drunk, and now they were walking home still arguing, and their heads were buzzing because the music was loud in the club.

They were talking in circles. And they were now so drunk and so far from the original argument that neither of them knew what the hell they were arguing about. He knew she was drunk because when he said something cutting, which he did easily now, she would start her sentences by saying, Yes, but no. He knew he was drunk because he was drunk, though in himself he thought he was pretty sober…

They came to the top of her road and usually it was the best part of walking home with her because he could see her house in the distance. Now, though, as he looked at her bedroom window, it made him feel steely and outside himself and sick.

She turned into her road, but he stopped and she looked at him and right at that moment they sobered up because they both knew this was something different for them, and something was changed. He stood away from her not looking at her and she said his name then, in a question. The taxis were noisy going by, taking drunk people back from the clubs.

He couldn’t move. He could see the cars in the window of the car showroom across the road. They were flawless, so perfect he couldn’t imagine anyone actually driving them. He felt a long way off then and when she spoke to him, his name, all he could say was, I don’t know, and inside everything felt ridiculous.

That was how they were, and the taxis would go past and then there were no taxis and the road was quiet.

She said, It’s up to you. She was looking at him. Her shoulders were down, with her head tilted slightly to the side. Then she turned towards her house. She took five steps, but he didn’t move and she stopped. She said, I can’t do any more. What do you want me to do?

He couldn’t say anything. The cars were so shiny. The lights in the showroom were bright and the cars looked pure and clear.

It’s up to you, she said, and this time when she walked she didn’t stop walking…

He thought about it all as he stood there and it was ridiculous. There was nothing around and there were no cars and no other sounds. Just the night and the traffic lights changing. Then a car came along. It was old and he watched as it crawled past him. It wasn’t new and sharp like the showroom cars. That he could see clearly.