Without realising: Monologue

I wake - I think of you. Those two things have become one. I can no
longer be conscious without you on the brain (you, you, you). Not
excluding when I sleep, however. I'm sure I dream of you, too: long
complicated scenarios.
I still remember how your heart feels, beating under your t-shirt.
Maybe one day I will have memorised its rhythm.
Your heart is slower than mine, and deeper.
I remember your fingertips against my palm, and the way your scent
lingered there for hours.
I persuade myself to be in love with you.
I force nothing. I weigh (You balance).