Yogi and yoni

If your lotus lacks elan
and you're longing for a man
and your mystic's gone ballistic with baloney:
If there's tantrums in your tantra
and no metre in your mantra
if the yogi bears no blessing try the yoni.

If your seer's prognostication
spells a spell of masturbation
and the sadhu's just a lad who's rather phoney:
If your boyfriend makes you boo-hoo
and your guru's made a boo-boo
if the yogi bears no blessing try the yoni.

If you pose in plaits and gingham
but you're lusting for a lingam
or you fantasise your thighs astride a pony:
if a man dares call you "moti"
stick a roti up his dhoti
and if the yogi bears no blessing try the yoni!