Zero and Nic

Zero was his nickname, because he had nothing.
Nic was her nickname, because she was called Nicola.

They went on a crime bender, putting one in mind
of Bonnie and Clyde; except: rather than Dallas, the

setting was Hillside, near Southport. They didn't rob
banks, they shoplifted jars of pasta-bake sauce, and

packs of grated cheese. Zero did not share Clyde's
humble beginnings, nor his looks, nor his grooming.

Unlike Bonnie, Nic had two parents, and no anger,
just a feeling that something was missing, maybe a

pair of shoes. Her favourite colour was not red, but blue.
They did not wind up shot dead. They lived near-forever.

They never did take photos of themselves in dramatic
tableux, gangster poses. But some home-made erotic

footage exists on the internet. I suppose, all said, this is
how England turned the American dream on its head.