Begging for a dx (tw: mental health, drugs)

This is a poem about mental health issues and drug addiction. I don't claim to be an expert in either, but it's what I felt.

sitting in the car
glancing at the junkie across the street
i pop another tums
thank god i'm not like that

the light turns green
i wait to make sure no cars are planning to run a yellow
i drive to my appointment

i'm five minutes late
but there was traffic
and i had to pause when a kid played on the sidewalk
because he might have a ball
that maybe would have rolled into the street

i breathe a sigh of relief
as i sink down into that couch
i close my eyes
letting all my pain release
forgiving all my sins
making plans to change
knowing i can't

i drive past the junkie on my way home
i turn my car around
and i sit with her
as she releases her pain
forgives her sins
plans to change
knowing she won't

thank god i'm not like that