Re-birth

By Beeme

Sat, 05 Mar 2011
  • 1208 reads
6 comments
 

I dig my nails
into the soil,
trying to peel
back the layers.
Filling in
gaps of time,
as if you
are the dirt
brown, smudged skin
clinging…
like tissue
or roots.
My fingers
divers
dragging our lake,
feeling for you.

Certificate 12
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Another good one, Beeme. I like the line-breaks; they are effective, especially 'clinging...' Like the imagery with 'my fingers - scuba divers'. Enjoyed;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you Tina, glad you enjoyed this one :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Lovely to see a shorter poem from you, Beeme. There are some beautiful images in this one too! The only thing that jarred with me was the 'scuba' in 'scuba divers' - for some reason it feels a little out of place. Why not simply try it as 'divers' instead? Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you very much Magic, glad you enjoyed this :) I agree, I've changed it to divers :) Beeme xxx

k.

Submitted by fatboy74 on
Agree with what has been siad Beeme, well done. :-)

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thank you, so much fatboy :) Glad you liked :) Beeme xx

k.