Bugger Bognor

The absurdity of the situation hit me at once. He was good at engineering these ridiculous circumstances, then looking innocent, saying
“what a coincidence it all is, must be fate!”
Fate my arse.

He’d known exactly what would happen because he’d planned it all down to the tiniest detail. Unfortunately for me, I was the only person who truly knew him, the others just smiled and looked amazed muttering
“Well would you believe it”
There we all were at the charity ball given by my philanthropic son in aid of ‘The Poor Children Of Single Parent Families’ where I stood on the stage with the little orchestral ensemble accompanied by the very minor celebrity (looking rather bemused) he had hired to draw the raffle tickets.

The poor fellow not quite sure why everyone was so embarrassed laughed nervously, repeated the number turning the ticket around then re-reading the name on the back saying
“Come on Mr Reginald Higgins step forward don’t be shy, I’m sure your dear lady wife would love a second honeymoon at Bognor Regis”
A little sarcastically I thought.

What the chap didn’t know was that Mrs Reginald Higgins had been Ex Mrs Reginald Higgins for the past two years, and that Mr Reginald Higgins had just been chucked out of his love nest by his 30 years younger than himself Ex-Mistress.

The irony of it was that Anthony wasn’t rich and successful for nothing, no indeed, he was a clever chap, he knew for instance that a young blonde mistress wasn’t going to be dazzled at by thought of a week in Bognor Regis and come dashing back to make things up with his Dad, but, his poor old Mum just might be lonely enough to take the silly old goat up on his offer.

Oh such absurdity!

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VMM2008