The 70' in one poem. Is this a poem?

By breather

Fri, 23 Oct 2009
  • 871 reads
2 comments
 

It was 1970,
I was starting to use
Heroin
It was a career move
That made sense
I was convinced,
At 18
That I was useless.
Backed up by the outer reality.
A very disturbing experience
This reality
Old men wearing flares
And flowery shirts
The Sweeney anyone?
Get me out of here
Now!
Heroin got me out

The guy that sold me Heroin
Commonly known as smack,
Was my doctor
Not the evil person the press had made him into
What a shit time
The seventies were fucked up
A lost generation
Standing in a field
Listening
To the grateful dead
The grateful dead
Or some other bunch
Of fucked up
As it turned out
Losers
Peddling their wares
To a susceptible crowd.
Pretending they were having
A good time?
The 70's

Certificate PG
Story
poetry emulsion
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Frances Macaula... on
In my own humble opinion (of course): no, but that doesn't mean it isn't a poem to someone else. Poetry is totally subjective and although many, many have tried, any one person giving a definitive answer to the question "what is a poem?" which would be acceptable to all, is impossible. In the light of the above, you've asked the question so I shall endeavour to answer from my observation: please accept my criticism as support and encouragement from a fellow writer. IS THIS A POEM?: I personally feel the line-breaks are wrong, capitalization of each new line is very telling, the end word of each line should be as powerful as the first word. This piece needs a severe edit and there's no art - just an opinion which offers no new observation. It's as if you've taken a short note and chopped it up to 'appear' as poetry without knowing the rules of the art. Hope I've helped... Best Frances.

Soundcloud:  https://soundcloud.com/search?q=FrancesMF

Submitted by breather on
You're spot on I do not know any rules, let alone poetry rules . . . . Thanks