Bully Myths: “Chunk vs Kung Fu Hugh”

Chunk’s thumbs crush skulls.
Chunk’s burps turn stuff rusty.
Chunk upturns rugby scrums.
Chunk mugs thugs.
Chunk spurns hugs.
Chunk culls cuddly ducks.
Chunk hunts bulls.
Chunk duffs up Zulu cults.
Chunk funds Klu Klux lynch clubs.
By brunch, hungry Chunk gulps uncut drugs,
chugs slurry, jug by jug,
gulps yummy jugulums!
Push ups? Curls? Pssh!
Wussy. Buff Chunk shuns gyms.

~

Judy’s cry: “Mummy! Mummy!
Chunk burnt my bunny hutch!”
Such unjust stuff. Hugh,
puny but plumy kung fu guru,
jumps up: “Why, Chunk, try my mucus!”
Hugh upchucks sputum.
Chunk’s struck dumb by such pluck.
Punch by punch, Hugh thumps
dub rhythms up Chunk’s tummy.
Chunk thumps but Hugh ducks, shrugs,
slugs Chunk: skull spurts ruby syrup.
Chunk huffs, puffs, blubs, succumbs.
Hugh usurps Chunk. “Hurt much?!”
Hugh purrs. Chunk murmurs: “lucky putsch.”