Been a while

It has been a while since I have felt pure happiness. Without any
burdens, no worries.
It has been a while since I have felt peace all over my body. Without
the feeling that someone behind me is critizing my hair, looks or
clothes.
It has been a while since I have just sat down and smile about how
wondeful life is. Thinking of all the good times through the
year.
It has been a while for many things. Many things that I wish I had now.
That I never knew I would miss.
It has been so long since I have laughed till I cried. It has been so
long since I have been able to share the happiness of another.
It happened so fast, the joy that slipped through my fingers.
There is nothing I can do now... the power is no longer mine.
I have worked so hard without realising the damage caused by
others.
I walk around the poeple I thought I knew so well. They dont see my
pain. They dont see my worry. They never have.

It has been a while since I have been able to touch pure sunlight. It
has been a while since I have been able to look at someone and tell
them honestly that I love them.
It has been so long since I have been able to trust someone, to tell
them my deep secrets.
It has been so long since I have felt safe in someones arms. As they
hold me tight and gently kiss my hair. To feel that no matter what this
person loves me and would do anything for my happinness.

But that is all gone now. I dont know if I will ever get that
back.
This sadness that I have felt for so long has never stopped growing.
Things that happen around me that make it worse. Music that I used to
love no longer sounds like sweet symphonies.
The year is almost over..
Is there new hope? Will I ever be able to feel pure happiness
again?
Only time will give me the answer but I am not sure if I have the
patience.
It has been a while since I have been many things.Will I ever be the
person I used to be?
Only time will tell.