Looking after Mum: Part II: Chapter 15

Chapter 15
I ran along the street crying my eyes out, the world was a blur; I couldn’t see anything and didn’t care where I was going. I didn’t care, didn’t care, didn’t care. I pushed past everyone and ran and ran and ran helplessly, tears streaming down my face. And then I felt myself trip, and before I fell over there were firm arms pulling me back, and sitting me down on the curb.
“What the hell were you doing?”
I struggled to push my matted hair out of my eyes, and as my vision cleared, I saw that it was the girl I had seen in Arabian Nights that day, sitting next to me on the curb. She was wearing a tube top today and over that a purple leather waistcoat, but there was the odd skirt and spiky boots from last time. Her head was tilted to one side as she looked at me sceptically.
“Oh...” I panted, “Nothing.”
She arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “Like hell you were. Racing across the streets howling like a mad woman and then diving straight into the road where a car was speeding along. You’ll have to come up with a better reason than that.”
“It’s a bit hard to explain,” I said, trying to recover my breath and failing dismally. “I...didn’t know what to do...I...”
It won the award for worst explanation hands down and I was expecting the girl to inquire further. Strangely enough, she hushed me, and slung an arm around my shoulders casually.
“No worries,” she said chirpily. “Didn’t want to see you get smashed by a car, that’s all.”
“Yes,” I said, “Thanks a lot. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been there.” What I was really thinking was, Why didn’t she let me fall? Everything could have ended, there and then, everything. Then there would have been a blissful nothingness. Why did she have to bring me back?
She grinned, and I could almost see a sparkle in her teeth like in the Colgate advert. “Well, call me Superwoman. Out there saving the world.” She glanced at me surreptitiously. “Or at least people’s lives. You do know, kid, you could have been killed.”
I nodded, almost wistful. Then, in a rare moment of boldness, I murmured, “I’m not a kid, you know. You make me feel so small.”
She laughed for a second, throwing her head back, her red hair splashing over her face. That made me feel about the size of an ant. “How old are you, then?” she asked.
I winced. She’d probably taken me for twelve or something. “Fourteen.”
I gave her a sidelong glance, biting my lip. “You’re not much older than me, are you? When I first saw you I thought...”
“Nah, just a year older,” she said, smiling easily. “I’m fifteen.”
“Year Nine then?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“What?” I asked. My query went unanswered so I said, “What school do you go to?”
“Um...nothing permanent...at the moment.” Her eyes glazed over in a preoccupied sort of way and then glittered. “Say, are you busy today? ‘Cause I have all the time in the world and I’m bored out of my skull so maybe we can hang out, yeah?”
I hesitated, tapping my fingers against the tarmac. I was meant to be at home with Mum, and wasn’t it wrong to walk out on her like that without saying anything? I brushed these doubts away. She didn’t want me there at all, she just wanted to be alone with her self-pity and anyway, it wouldn’t hurt. She obviously thought I was just getting in the way; there wasn’t any point in staying. Thinking about it made anger and sadness surge up inside me, so before it could spill out I blurted, “Yes. I’ll come.”
She raised from the pavement in a quick bounce and extended a hand towards me. “Great. Come on then.”
It was amazing how much more confident I felt when I was with her and how much it changed the way I felt. When I was walking side by side with her I didn’t feel self-conscious or worried about other people; I just felt proud and my heart swelled. The only thing I had in common with her was age, but she didn’t seem to realise how mismatched we were in both personality and looks. I was dowdy and plain whereas she was beautiful and funky; not exactly fashionable but she made people forget that because of how at ease she was with her identity. I was shy and retiring whereas she was a bundle of confidence and self-respect. And despite all this, somehow, it seemed to work.
We came to a halt at the co-op. “Feeling hungry?” she asked.
“Um…sort of. But I don’t have any money on me.”
“Don’t worry. Neither do I,” she grinned.
I looked at her, bewildered.
“Your face!” she scoffed. “Hang on a sec, ki…sorry! What’s your name! I’ll quit with the kiddo once I know what you’re called.”
“Amelia,” I said.“What’s yours?”
“Ruby.” It was just as I’d thought. Spicy, sexy and smooth. Perfect. Just like her.
“Alright then, Amelia, just wait here,” she said, striding into the shop and then popping her head back around the door. “Wait up for me. Won’t be a minute.” She cocked her head on one side cheekily. “Prefer your fry-up with bacon or sausages? Or both, for that matter?”
Ruby cackled with laughter when she saw my expression. “I’m just kidding you, Amelia. Having a laugh.”
She disappeared into the shop, and I was wondering why she had told me to wait outside instead of coming in with her, when she came back out a few minutes later, her hands empty. Her mouth was pursed up, all wrinkled and I could see she was trying not to burst out with laughter, but she briskly linked arms with me and walked around the bend. The bracelets and bangles running up her arm knocked against my wrist with their smooth, round beads and jingled musically as she swung our conjoined arms back and forth. By the time we had reached the fence leading to the park, she had erupted in hysterical laughter. “What’s so funny?” I kept asking impatiently. “What is it?”
We unlinked arms as we set about clambering over the wooden fence, Ruby first, me next. We walked past the children running rampant in the play area and parents lounging lazily on mats set out on the grass. I could see from the direction in which Ruby was looking, we were heading for the far area of the park, which was shadier and contained a lot more foliage. As we wandered past the trees and my feet bounced along the damp, wet grass, I felt almost weightless, as if I could bounce right up to the sky in a single leap. But the unfamiliar feeling of being carefree was short-lived, as a niggling thought swiftly entered my head. It was a curiosity to discover the reason for the excitement that danced in her throat as she hummed different songs, that sparkled shockingly green eyes as she walked. As we finally plonked ourselves down on the furthest bench, I questioned her again, and in answer she unzipped her mauve waistcoat. Couples of crisps, chocolate bars, and sodas fell out. She lay down on the grass, still in hysterics and unable to stop laughing.When she’d finally calmed down, she sat back down on the bench, where I was waiting for her, slightly embarrassed and at a loss for words.
She gave me a cheesy smile and giggled, “Sorry. It always gets me right in the funny bone.” She gestured at the snacks. “Enjoy. Courtesy Rendall.”
“Your last name Rendall?”
“Yep.” She put on a fake American twang. “That’s the name, don’t wear it out.”
“Rendall like the author of the mystery novels?”
“You what?” She sneered. “You think I read? Think again.”
I had turned very red, feeling so humiliated it was killing me. Why had my mouth gone and betrayed me? Now the bookworm inside of me had been uncovered, she’d be out of this park faster than you could say knife.
Ruby stretched out her arms and legs, yawning, and flicked a hand through her hair.“Though I think it’s great you read. I mean, all that pressure, coming from spazztards, that’s what I call them, telling you its naff and all. You have to have a load of guts not to fit in with the other spazztards in this world. You never change, okay?”
I swallowed, unable to believe that she was seemingly indifferent to my liking books and even encouraged it. “Alright,” I said. “But what do you mean, ‘them’?”
“There’s people like that everywhere. Spazztards. They can’t get a life or a brain or a damn piece of individuality, so they want to change any other people into spazztards. Simple, right?” She paused and took a breath, “Don’t let any of them do that to you, Amelia, okay? I’d be well pissed out if you turned into another brain-dead creep. Not that you will, of course,” she added, winking at me impishly. We munched companiably on Mars bars and crisps, taking swigs of fruit juice between mouthfuls. I did have worries niggling at me about the fact that Ruby had obviously stolen the snacks but I managed to push these to the back of my mind, telling myself that it wasn’t hurting anyone. After we had finished eating, she took a cigarette out of her pocket and twirled it between her fingers. “Have you got a match?”
I shook my head, completely shocked out of my mind, unable to believe what I was seeing. Ruby burst out laughing. “You’re meant to say, yeah I got a match: your face and my ass.” I could feel my face breaking out into a smile at the crudeness but hilarity of it, and at how naive I must have sounded, but then I frowned. I didn’t feel right about sitting next to her and letting her smoke, it felt a bit like I was committing a crime or something. She giggled, mimicking my expression exaggeratedly and then became more serious.“Nah, you shouldn’t smoke. It’s bad for your health and all that. I’m an old pro. Don’t you worry about me.” Seeing that my face was still creased in a frown, she moulded my lips into a smile with her fingers, making me laugh. In a fit of the giggles, I pushed her off me, gasping for air and she pushed me back playfully, and soon we had rolled off the bench onto the grass.
After a while of frolicking, I looked at Ruby beside me and her eyes were open but not alert. Her head was tilted to one side dreamily and her hands, either side of her, were tracing idle patterns on the grass in random motions. I could see the droplets of light dancing in the wiry strands of her untamed auburn hair that haphazardly fell about her face.
Lying back on the grass next to my companion, I wriggled my toes as we watched the clouds roll by in the perfectly blue sky. It was just so lovely and comfortable and clichéd, like a scene from a musical.
It was hot, but it didn't feel like it, as a breeze swept through the park that resonated with the laughter of children. We were happy and there was nothing else that mattered in the world any more. I drifted off peacefully into a blissful daydream, my eyes still open, fixated on the azure heavens.