The Terrible Day of Lump

1. The Strange Machine

 

Charlie and Evie were twins. They lived with their Mum and Dad, Mr. and Mrs. Catt. So they were Charlie Catt and Evie Catt.

Mr. Catt came from England. He thought the summers were much too hot. Mrs. Catt came from Jamaica. She thought the summers were much too cold.

“Every summer it’s the same,” sighed Charlie as their Mum and Dad grumbled.

Then, one warm day, a very strange parcel arrived.

“Aha!” cried Mr. Catt.

He grabbed the parcel and ran upstairs to his attic. It was in the attic that Mr. Catt liked to make things.

For the rest of the night they heard a lot of strange sounds.

Whirring! And Thumping!

Grinding! And Scraping!

Mrs. Catt sat there knitting a jumper.

“What is he making now?” she said with a clickety-clack of her needles.

But finally, she stretched her arms.

“Time for bed!” she told them. “And don’t forget your vests!”

“Vests!” groaned Evie.

“Nobody wears vests in the summer,” moaned Charlie.

Mrs. Catt sat back on the settee. She gave a great, big yawn.

“No arguing,” she said.

 

Charlie and Evie put on their vests and their stripy pyjamas. It was a hot summer night. The birds were singing. The grass was growing. The flowers smelt sweet. They went to bed as warm as bread from the oven. But the next morning, when they woke up…...

“I’m cold,” said Charlie.

Evie drew back the curtains. The streets of the city were covered in ice and snow. The sky was grey. The air was misty.

“We must have slept for months!” said Charlie.

They ran downstairs. To their surprise, their Mum and Dad were curled up, fast asleep on the settee, like two hamsters.

“Wake up!” shouted Charlie.

He gave his Dad a big shake. Mr. Catt snored very loudly.

“Wake up!” he bellowed in his Mum’s ear.

She wrinkled her nose and burrowed down deeper.

“Hmmm,” said Evie, “It looks to me as if they haven’t put their vests on. I think they’re hibernating!”

“Hibernating?” said Charlie.

“Exactly,” said Evie. “They’ve gone to sleep for the winter. Like tortoises!”

“But why is it cold?” asked Charlie.

He turned on the television. There were the news readers, fast asleep. Huge icicles hung over them like teeth.

“Let’s see,” Evie began to work it out. “Dad said it was too hot. He got a strange package in the post. And now, it’s the middle of winter!” 

They hurried upstairs and climbed the ladder into the attic. The window was wide open. A bitter, freezing wind was blowing through it. And pointing out of the window was a very strange machine. It looked like a huge telescope. There were dials and buttons all along its sides. Every single part was a different colour.

Charlie looked through it. “I can see polar bears!” he said.

 Evie picked up a leaflet.

“Mr. Sidney Lump’s Easy to Make House Cooler,” she read out loud.  “Just follow the instructions. In no time at all, you will have a lovely, cool house on a hot summer day. It couldn’t be simpler!”

Evie looked at the pictures. They showed you how to put the machine together.

“Wait a minute!” She looked at the machine. Then she looked back at the pictures. “The green bit is missing!”

Charlie turned away from the telescope. In times of trouble, he always felt like singing. So he opened his mouth and sang, in a shivering voice,

“As sure as a camel has got a hump,

 oh, this is the Terrible Day of Lump!”

 

2. Winter

 

Evie looked at the address on the leaflet.

“Mr. Sidney Lump, Lump Towers, Bristol Docks.”

“The first thing to do,” she said, “Is find this Mr. Lump and get the missing green piece of the machine. And to do that, we’re going to need some kind of transport.”

“I don’t think the buses will be running,” said Charlie.

“Exactly,” Evie started to look around the attic. “We must invent a motorised sleigh.”

There was all sorts of rubbish up there. Evie found an old tin bath and the engine from a lawn mower. Charlie found a pair of wooden skis, a wooden spoon and the steering wheel from a boat. In no time at all, Evie had invented a motorised sleigh. And Charlie had worked out how to drive it.

 

Mr. and Mrs. Catt were snoring happily so they threw a blanket over them. Then they both put on three jumpers, two pairs of trousers and two coats. They pulled on three pairs of socks, two woolly hats and bright red Wellington boots. Under it all they wore their vests.

“Chops away!” said Charlie.

They jumped onto the sleigh at the top of the hill. Evie pulled the string that started the motor. Charlie took hold of the wheel and shifted the wooden spoon that was the brake. Then, with the ice and snow flying up behind them, they went whizzing, sliding and skidding into the wild, white city!

“Here’s the docks,” Charlie’s shouted.

With a whoosh they spun to a stop.

 “The quickest way to get to Lump Towers,” decided Evie, “Is over the frozen water.”

“Fingers crossed then!” cried Charlie.

He bounced the sleigh over the side of the docks. The ice was so deep that they skated over it without a crack. And the city was so empty that when they heard the voice, it echoed like a huge clap of thunder.

“Who are you?” boomed the voice.

Charlie skidded to a halt. Standing in front of them was a very tall, very old man. He’d come out of nowhere. He wore a long tweed coat and gloves with no fingers. Over his cropped, silver hair he wore a woolly hat.

“I’ll ask you again,” said the old man. “Who are you?”

“Evie and Charlie,” said Evie.

Charlie said, “Who are you?”

“I am Winter.” said the old man. Now his voice was as soft as falling snow. “But I’ve been woken before my time!”

“Sorry about that,” said Evie, “Our Dad’s built a machine that’s made it cold. But the green piece is missing. So we’re going to find Mr. Sidney Lump and put things right!”

“I’ll come with you,” said the old man, Winter, blowing on his hands.

In his crumpled, black boots, he skated beside them. Before very long, they saw a large house by the side of the docks. Outside was a large sign.

“LUMP TOWERS,” read Charlie.

As he said it the curtains twitched. The old man, Winter, stepped forward.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

He rapped with his hands on the door.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

He rapped again.

The sound echoed over the frozen city like a great bell. And under his breath, Charlie began to sing in a very low voice.

“As sure as a kangaroo loves to jump,

 oh, this is the Terrible Day of Lump!”

 

3. The Chase

 

There was a long, chilly silence. Then, the doors of the tower burst open and a potato on skis came flying out!

“Was that a potato on skis?” cried Charlie.

It wasn’t really a potato. It was a short, fat man with a very bald head,  wearing an old, brown raincoat. Clinging on tight to his very fat briefcase, he whizzed over the ice, so fast that he almost flew!

“That,” decided Evie, “Must be Mr. Sidney Lump. He’s got motors on his skiis! And maybe he’s got the missing piece in his briefcase.”

“After him!” cried Charlie.

They whizzed after Mr. Lump, with the old man, Winter, skating behind them. Faster and faster they went, until they were sure that Winter was blowing them on. Across the frozen docks they bounced, over roads and up a hill. The ice and snow burst up around them! But Mr. Lump was going just as fast.

They reached the top of the hill. Below them was the city, as white as a Christmas cake.

“There he is!” cried Charlie.

Mr. Lump was whizzing downhill as fast as a whizzing potato! And he was holding onto his bulging briefcase as if it was full of jewels.

“After him!” cried Winter.

Off they went, down the hill, over some roads, skidding across the frozen docks until Charlie cried, “Where is he?”

They stopped very still. Nobody moved. Even the sun looked frozen.

“Where is he?” whispered Evie.

Then, “Look out!” they heard, “Look out!”

Mr. Lump came somersaulting towards them! His skis had gone out of control! He spun up in the air, did the splits and came whirling back down. As he landed with an icy crack on his very fat bottom, his very fat briefcase flew out of his hands! It turned upside down. It burst open. And thousands of little leaflets rained down on Mr. Lump’s head!

Evie picked one up. “Mr. Sidney Lump’s Easy to Make House Cooler,”she read out loud. She looked at the empty briefcase. “There’s nothing in here but leaflets.”

She looked at Mr. Lump. “I suppose you’re wearing a vest?” she said.

“Of course.” Mr. Lump gave a very deep sigh. “My mother always made me.”

Charlie nodded as if he understood.

“As sure as the dodgems will give you a bump,”

 he sang,

“Oh, this is the Terrible Day of Lump!”

 

4. The Missing Piece

 

The old man, Winter, shook his silver head. It made a sound like leaves rustling.

“I’ve been woken before my time,” he said, “And you, Mr. Lump, are to blame.”

Mr. Lump folded his arms. “It’s got nothing to do with me,” he said.

“You sold our Dad a dodgy machine,” said Evie.

“That’s not a dodgy machine,” Mr. Lump said. “It’s only supposed to cool your house. He’s put it together wrong.”

“That’s because the green bit is missing!” said Evie.

Mr. Lump looked very embarrassed.

“Take us into your house,” said Winter, “And find it.”

They all went into Lump Towers.

“Oh, dear,” said Evie.

“I haven’t had a chance to tidy up,” said Mr. Lump.

“For ten long years?” said Winter.

The room was piled high with boxes, tins, paper and bits of machinery. Over it all were dust and cobwebs and leaves.

“We’ll never find it,” said Charlie.

But Winter shook his head. “Stand back,” he told them.

He took a deep breath and blew. He blew and blew and his icy breath was as white as a snow storm. The windows burst open! The leaves, cobwebs and dust went whirling out. The paper, tins and boxes spun into the bin. And the bits of machinery rolled into a pile.

Winter stopped. “Can you see it?” he asked Mr. Lump.

Mr. Lump stepped forward. He put his hand into the middle of the pile and pulled something out. It was round like a saucer and bright, sparkly green.

“This is the one,” he told them. “The green piece.”

“Well done,” said Winter. “But……..” He shook his silver head at Mr. Lump. “People shouldn’t want it to be cold when it’s hot. And they shouldn’t want it to be hot when it’s cold. But you have let them do it.”

Mr. Lump hung his head in shame. “I didn’t want to make silly machines,” he said. “But everyone’s got to do something.”

“What did you want to be?” asked Evie.

“A ballet dancer, of course,” said Mr. Lump.

Evie and Charlie tried to look polite. But Winter looked very serious.

“I can blow you to a place where you can be a ballet dancer,” he said.

“Blow me!” cried Mr. Lump.

Just in time, he handed the green piece to Evie. Then, Winter blew and blew and blew and his icy breath was kind.

 “Goodbye, Mr. Lump!” waved Charlie and Evie.

He floated away, over the docks, the roads and the hills until Winter stopped blowing.

“He’ll love it there,” he said, “One day you may see a ballet company come to Bristol. Go and take a look. You’ll probably see Mr. Lump. Now…….we must take the green piece back to your house.”

 

They whizzed across the icy docks, along the empty streets and up the frozen hill. When they got to their house, they saw a girl, fast asleep under a tree. Her scruffy hair was the colour of wheat. Her clothes looked ragged, as if she’d been climbing trees and rolling down haystacks.

“We should help her,” said Evie, “She must be frozen.”

“That’s Summer,” said Winter with a smile, “Fast asleep before her time. Go inside. Mend the machine. And I’ll sit with her.”

They left Winter sitting on the wall near the tree. Their Mum and Dad were still fast asleep on the settee. So they hurried upstairs to the attic. In no time at all, Evie put the green piece in the right place. She turned a dial. She pressed a button. And the strange machine lit up.

Charlie and Evie leant out of the window.

 “Winter!” called Evie.

But the old man had lain down on the wall. Very slowly, he melted into the stone. Bit by bit, his coat became stone. Then his head became stone. Before long, you could look at the wall and almost see the shape of an old man, lying there. But Winter was gone.

“The girl’s waking up,” said Charlie.

Summer stretched her arms and opened her eyes. As she did so, the colours came rushing back. There was blue sky, yellow fields, red flowers and green trees. There were birds swooping.

“I think,” said Evie,” That when everything’s back to normal, we should take this machine apart and throw it away.”

“Good thinking,” said Charlie. “But first we should talk to Mum and Dad.”

They went downstairs. Their Mum and Dad were just waking up.

“First of all,” said Charlie, “Never complain about the weather.”

Mr. and Mrs. Catt looked very surprised.

“Secondly,” said Evie, “Never buy dodgy machines.”

Mr. Catt tried to say something. But,

“Thirdly…..” Charlie pointed a finger at his Mum. “Always, always always wear a vest!”

They went outside and waved to Summer as she walked down the hill. Then Charlie started to sing.

“As sure as the night has things which go bump,

as sure as a rabbit has feet which go thump,

as sure as a wizard says ABRAKAZUMP!

oh……………....this was the Terrible Day of Lump!”

 

 

The End