The Antropong Tree

The Antropong Tree stands nine miles high
And four dozen and twenty feet wide
To climb to the top would take several days
And a Dryad to act as your guide
In the gnarly roots at the base of the trunk
Is the home of the Horny Beaked Troll
Who pounces on innocent passers by
And demands an extortionate toll
In the Autumn the Mumbling Mushrooms
Those Mycelium Prophets of Doom
Whisper ambiguous mutterings
About crises and troubles what loom
In the long sultry days of high summer
Sweet fruits are produced in profusion
If you eat this fine treat you will probably live
But with endless despair and confusion
It is said that the bark when consumed after dark
Makes you fly if you eat a big portion
But the bones on the ground, there are some to be found
Might suggest this be viewed with some caution
At seven miles high in a treehouse
Lives a giant called Quaking Yolanda
Who shakes with laughter night and day
Her family don't understand her
Inside the trunk in a jamjar
Are the ashes of Chestnut Le Rue
A bored apathetic magician
Who sawed his assistant in two
The silvery leaves in the moonlight
Seem to whisper your name in the breeze
You'll listen for more but invisible dwarfs
Will surround you, your soul they will seize
The Antropong Tree has some Canker
And glutinous sap it does ooze
If you happen to step down upon it
You'll have to go home without shoes
Don't bother trying to retrieve them
With a broomstick or special machine
Cos seven foot wasps will have dragged them away
And up to the nest for their queen
At the top lives a dangerous monkey
In a fly away Blimp which he mended
He lives with a hareem of glamorous moths
And the view from up there is quite splendid
If you say the right words and pull the right face
And make the appropriate sound
He'll beat you well nigh about senseless
Then fly you back down to the ground.