Mary's Choice

The blue
or the brown?
I still can't decide but -
my case all-but packed
for months now:

nappies, vests, cotton-wool,
a shawl soft as kisses
and bonnet to match
my mother is knitting
umbilicus yarn.

When I told him the news
he was at the lathe -
sliced the corner clean off
a picture-frame
never even looked up.

My sister called:
she also claimed
a spiritual visitation:
he was black
and from Lewisham.

We all tell it
as we remember it -
not the fumbling
and the misfiring
in the dark but

how was i to know
that my story would
secure angelic status
for the guy
who sowed the news?

i can still feel the thrill
as he said “you’re the one”
how he unhooked my bra
in a twinkling
like a hyphen
breaking a sentence.

the pain is sharp
the sky clear and full
and i have decided:
the brown for the journey
the blue for the photograph.