Spinning Top

By Chinobus

Sat, 07 Jul 2012
  • 565 reads
1 comments
 

Beginning the day winding up the spinging top,
Emotions and thoughs scattered wishing it could stop.
Forward I go drifting along its helix polished edges,
Swiftly turning my tainted sentence to the austere judges.
Then it all fades away as the maddening whirl ceases,
I see the light of day then sorrow fades.
Grateful that the spinning top only reminds me subtly,
That I have the best life possible with my freinds and family.

Certificate U
Poem
Poetry

Comments

Submitted by Jessiibear on
In the first line, spinging should be 'spinning'. Second line, thoughs should be 'thoughts'. And after scattered, perhaps add a comma? In the third line, maybe add a comma after go. The poem as a whole is interesting. I enjoyed reading it. There's a lot of metaphors—as in the spinning top—which, for me, added something special; a hint of individualism. It made it less general, seeing as people like myself could get something out of this; something personal; relate. Keep up the great work. You're a fantastic writer, really.

Jess