Well Over the Edge

Routines exist only to torment us, God that is so true for today. Here I am at one of my favorite haunts around this town awaiting for the damn computer repairmen to fix my dinosaur of a computer, waiting to hear back if I got the job at some half-assed dollar store, and after all the Hell I manged to tread through I cant see where it ends yet. Am I defeated yet? Hell no! Someone once told me that brick walls exist for a reason so why give up on what I want when all I need lies on the other side of that goddamn wall? Striving to either tear or blow up this wall has me careening over the edge of sanity but I am more than comfortable being here since this is one of the few places in my mind that actually makes sense to me. Give me one writer who isn't insane and you got yourself a genuine fraud, every writer is insane in one aspect or another. Finding comfort in the fact that my remaining family is holding strong that I will complete some masterpiece in the not-so-distant future gives a small ray of hope that this is all just a phase much like the raging hormone years in my teenage years, those blissful days when everything was fucked up for a good reason. Ha, now that I got most of that out of my system here's a little lesson I learned about residing on the edge of reason and insanity, two little pointers I will make that may or may not agree with you. First, being at the edge means you are in a world no one has ever tread on before because insanity opens the door to endless impossibilities for you are capable of perceiving not only the worst imaginable, but you see life as it really is in its grimiest of details; you begin to see the things people push over that edge in hopes that it wont accumulate like a garbage heap in an abandoned land fill. These things people hide within themselves present a solution that lies deep within the mountain of shit because an elusive answer is found in an elusive place (great lesson my grandfather taught me) since when we throw out the things we don't like we always end up throwing a part of what we need the most. For example, threw out the possibility of a story line that sucked massive ass and when I went dry on inspiration I went back to that heap of garbage, pulled it out, re-thought about it, and combined it together with a more structured idea and boom I ended up winning a writing contest. This brings me to the most important lesson I got to share and it can be summed up in one word: persistence. When we reach this edge, mother nature and humanity is built to throw whatever it can to stall you right when you are at the peak of absolute success, totally true. Why is this? Easy: envy, spite, doubts, etc. These little feelings exist because YOU ARE on the right path and everyone else isn't. While everyone else is busy fucking around in Nowhere Land and were on the road to Inspiration Drive it is the epitome of making them feel better to drag us along for the ride to Hell because we hate being alone as much as we hate being wrong. All I can add to this is this small quote from me self: When faced with opposition, buck it and keep going because you are where you need to be when it matters the most. When you figure out what this quote means, thank me later. Peace everyone!