I Know What You're Thinking

“Look at me!” shouted Gregory.
No response.
“LOOK AT ME!”
But mum was busy feeding the baby and his brother, Stephen, was playing in the garden with dad. Grandma was asleep and even the dog was looking the other way.

One last time: “Look what I’m doing!” he bellowed, which was hard since he was upside down.
Nothing.
Gregory sighed and got down from his headstand. He would never be a famous acrobat at this rate; even his own family wouldn’t watch him.
He mooched about looking for something else to do. Sunday at grandma’s was BORING with capital letters and underlined. He swiped dad’s ipod off the table. Nobody noticed, of course. Nobody noticed anything he did since the new baby was born. He snuck upstairs and opened a door. Grandma’s bedroom: uncharted territory. Grandma's bed: the perfect trampoline. Gregory decided to practise his backflips.
He spotted grandma's hearing aid on the bedside table, and put it in his ipod-free ear. “Gregory Jones is unbeatable at backflips at this year’s Olympics,” he said, in his best commentator’s voice. “And now for his world-famous double parabola.”
He pressed the hearing aid further into his ear and changed the music on the ipod to a big loud rock song.
“The crowd falls silent…Ta-dahhhhh!...Woaah!”
Too far!
May-day! May-day!
Gregory bounced right off the bed and crashed into the washing basket, knocking it over and banging his head on the floor.
“Owwwww!”
Gregory picked himself up, brushing off grandma’s old socks and clutching his ears. There was a dreadful racket in his head. “I know what you’re thinking!” a voice was screaming. “I know what you’re thinking!” Crash crash crash, guitar riff.
“What’s going on up here?” said a voice over the noise. It was mum. “What are you doing with dad’s ipod?”
She pulled the earphone out of Gregory’s ear and the racket stopped.
“Is that grandma’s hearing aid? Take that out right now.”
But the hearing aid wouldn’t come out of Gregory’s ear. The hearing aid was stuck.

Five hours later, when a doctor at the hospital finally managed to remove the hearing aid, Gregory discovered his new skill.
*At last! I hope this stupid child’s happy now*, said the doctor, as the hearing aid popped out.
“Oi!” said Gregory. “I’m not stupid. It was an accident.”
“I didn’t say anything,” said the doctor. *I’ve missed the cricket because of you.*
“Cricket’s boring,” said Gregory.
“Sorry?”
“You said you’ve missed the cricket.”
“No I didn’t. Although I was thinking that.” *Oh dear, can this child hear my thoughts?*
“Yes,” said Gregory.
He looked at mum, who was rummaging in her handbag. *Where did I put my lip gloss?* Gregory heard her say, though her mouth wasn’t moving.
“Hey mum! I know what you’re thinking!”
“No you don’t,” said mum.
“Yes I do. You were thinking *Where did I put my lip gloss?*”
There was a pause.
“Now you’re thinking: *Oh my God, how does he know that?*”
Mum’s mouth dropped open.

This was better than when he had learned to do cartwheels. Everywhere he went, Gregory could hear people’s thoughts. That evening he learned a lot of secrets. He learned that Stephen had spilled Ribena on the carpet and hidden it with a cushion. He learned that dad had a secret stash of cigarettes in his sock drawer. He also learned that dad had tried on one of mum’s dresses and ripped it. In fact, dad seemed to do lot of things that no one else knew about. It was a lot of fun telling mum; she had never paid him so much attention.
The best bit came after dinner, when she couldn’t find the pudding.
“Okay. Who ate all the ice cream?” she said.
“It wasn’t me,” said everyone automatically.
Gregory listened. Stephen was wondering if that meant there was no pudding and telling himself not to cry if there wasn’t. Dad was thinking: *Act natural. Blame it on Gregory.*
“It was dad!” shouted Gregory.
“It wasn’t me!” said dad.
But mum didn’t believe him. “First the cigarettes and now this!” she shouted. “What else are you not telling me?”
“It was dad that ripped your pink dress,” piped up Gregory. “I forgot that one.”
Mum exploded.
It was a very successful evening. Stephen was made to scrub the carpet. Mum argued with dad, then spent a whole hour watching Gregory practise his headstands because she wasn’t speaking to dad any more.

Next day at school was even better. Gregory got top marks in all his lessons because he listened to Alex the Boffin’s thoughts, and went home with a gold star.
On Tuesday he discovered that his form teacher, Miss Khan, was secretly in love with the headmaster, Mr Hardy. He also helped her find out who had drawn a pair of pants on the blackboard. Jack was made to sit in the corner, and Gregory got another gold star.
On Wednesday in assembly, when Mr Hardy had finished talking, Gregory put up his hand.
“Do you have a question, Gregory?”
“Sir, Miss Kahn fancies you!” shouted Gregory. The whole school burst out laughing. Miss Khan went very red.
On Thursday, Gregory found out that Sophie thought that Chelsea’s new haircut was silly, and Sanjeev didn’t like sitting next to Damian because he smelt funny. He also found out where Henry’s secret den was, and that Michelle had stolen Sophie’s Barbie pencil. He announced these things, and many others, very loudly to the whole classroom. Soon, nobody was talking to each other. Gregory sat back and admired his handiwork.
On Friday, nobody liked Gregory any more.
*I hate Gregory.*
*Gregory’s so annoying.*
Everyone was thinking horrible things about Gregory, and Gregory didn’t like it.
But the fun continued at home:
“Mum, Stephen smashed your perfume.”
“Mum, dad’s eaten all the ice cream again.”
“Mum...”
“Gregory, that’s enough!” snapped mum. “You’re driving us mad! I’m taking you to see a doctor next week to make this stop.”
She made Gregory stay in his room all weekend, and he had to listen to dad’s ipod at mealtimes so that he couldn’t hear anyone’s thoughts and tell on them. The only time he was let out was on Sunday, when the family went to the park, but he had to practise his cartwheels at the other side of the play area.
He saw Sanjeev and Henry, who were playing on Sanjeev’s new bike, but they wouldn’t talk to him or let him have a go. He also saw the class bully, Kieran, wearing a horrible orange T shirt (which Kieran thought looked really cool), but Kieran wasn’t talking to him either, and went to bully someone else.
By the end of the weekend, Gregory was feeling lonely and decided that he probably shouldn’t shout out people’s secrets any more.

On Monday he did his best to make his friends like him again. When he overheard Michelle and Sophie feeling sad because they had argued, he made them make friends again. And when he found out that someone had stolen Sanjeev’s bike, he was determined to find out who it was. He listened carefully to everyone’s thoughts and soon found the culprit.
“It was Kieran!” he said.
But nobody would listen to him.
“You can’t accuse someone without proof,” said Miss Khan. “If you really believe that Kieran took the bike, then you have to find evidence to prove it.”
“Yeah, prove it loser,” said Kieran.
That afternoon Gregory sat next to Kieran so that he could listen to his thoughts. Kieran didn’t think much, so it wasn’t easy. But when the bell rang, Gregory clearly heard him thinking about Henry’s den.
*So that’s where you’ve hidden it,* thought Gregory.
He ran home and took dad’s camera so that he could take a photo of Kieran with the bike. But before he was out the door, Stephen shouted:
“Mum! Gregory’s stolen dad’s camera!”
By the time Gregory had explained to mum what he was doing, kicked Stephen, and run to Henry’s den, it was too late. The bike had gone.

Next day, Sanjeev and Henry weren’t friends any more.
“I found my bike!” Sanjeev told everyone. “Henry stole it! He hid it in his den!”
“It wasn’t me,” said Henry, who was sitting next to Gregory, now that no one was talking to him either.
“I know,” said Gregory. “It was Kieran, and I’m going to prove it.”
After school Henry took Gregory to his den to hunt for clues. It was in the wild bit of the park, in the trees behind the brambles. They searched the ground for Kieran-shaped footprints or other clues, but they couldn’t see anything.
“How are we going to prove it’s him?” said Henry. “It’s hopeless!”
They began to make their way back through the brambles. And then Gregory spotted something.
“Look at this!” he said, pointing at a piece of orange material that was caught on a thorn. “Kieran was wearing a horrible orange T shirt on Sunday. I bet he ripped it when he was hiding the bike!” He took the piece of material. “We just need to find the T shirt to prove it.”

It didn’t take them long to walk to Kieran’s house. The could see Kieran’s family eating dinner in the kitchen.
“How are we going to get inside?” said Henry.
Gregory wasn’t listening, he was lying on the ground, looking under the high wooden gate that led to the garden.
“I can see it!” he said. “It’s on the washing line!”
They tried the gate, but it was locked. How were they going to get in? They looked around. There were some kids playing football down the street. Gregory had an idea.
“What are you doing?” hissed Henry, as Gregory borrowed the ball, threw it over Kieran’s gate, and rang the front doorbell.
Kieran’s dad answered.
“Sorry, I kicked my ball into your garden by accident,” said Gregory, in his politest voice.
Kieran’s dad led him through the kitchen and into the garden.
“Hey!” Kieran realised what was happening, jumped up from the table and chased after him.
Gregory ran to the washing line, swiped the T shirt, grabbed the ball and legged it for the gate.
“Henry, run!” he yelled, throwing the ball and the T shirt over the gate.
Gregory tried to open the gate, but the latch was stuck. Kieran was right behind him. He was cornered.
*I’m going to beat you up*, he heard Kieran thinking.
*Uh-oh*, thought Gregory.
Kieran clenched his fists. But suddenly his scowl turned to a look of fear.
*Arrrggh! A spider! Save me!* Gregory heard him think.
And he ran into the house, screaming.
Gregory turned round, and saw a big hairy spider on the gate, right by his shoulder.
So Kieran was scared of spiders. Interesting. This would be the last secret he would tell anybody, Gregory promised himself.
Next day at school he told Henry, who told Jack, who told everyone else, and by the end of the day, everyone was laughing at Kieran and he couldn’t bully people any more. Gregory and Henry showed Sanjeev Kieran’s ripped T shirt, and the piece of material they had found at Henry’s den. Sanjeev forgave Henry, and everyone started talking to Gregory again. Michelle was so impressed with Gregory’s detective work, that she asked him to find out who had stolen her ruler. Soon Gregory was so busy being a detective that he forgot to practise his acrobatics.

On Friday mum took Gregory to see a doctor to cure his mind-reading. The doctor prodded and poked Gregory and made him do lots of tests. Finally she said: “It’s irreversible.”
“Irre-what?” said Gregory, just as mum said, “Oh dear.”
“Irreversible. It can’t be undone, I’m afraid,” said the doctor.
*Oh no. He’ll be blabbing our secrets for life*, thought mum.
“I promise I won’t,” said Gregory. “I promise I’ll only use it to do good.”
Mum hugged him.
“Well, at least it won’t stop you becoming an acrobat,” she said.
“Oh, I don’t want to be an acrobat any more,” said Gregory. “I’m going to be a detective.”

*

If you enjoyed I Know what You're Thinking, you might like to read the opening chapters of my children's novel, Time Travelogix, at www.timetravelogix.com