THE OVETHINKER

In the face of the on coming train of thought, she lays on the tracks silent and paralyzed by the coils of thick rope, wound then tied around her body in a series of neat reef notes.
In those final moments, she is audience to a slide show of memories. They take her back to a moment of light headedness when her head was completely empty and her mind blank.
She watches herself running through every scene on stick thin legs. This is before her relationship with those of Revlon and Solea had developed, so her skin is ashen, black and white in rough uneven patches.
Before the ability to think things through had fully kicked in, she went around with bare feet on tarmac roads or roads muddied by that season’s rain. This was also around the time she would stand waist deep in a pile of rubbish, searching for empty soda bottles to be pawned off at the nearby kiosk for five or ten shilling.
The man on the news is a foreigner in this world. Television-wise only anvils falling on animated creatures held any real weight with her. And everyday was a day of discovery until the day came when she finally discovered that knowing better might be less fun than if she had known nothing at all.
In knowing better, a full understanding of every word spoken by those men and women on KBC, KTN, CNN and Aljazeera develops, which in turn leads to a love affair of sorts, where they spit and she swallows and at that moment her outlook of everything is suddenly blackened.
The burden on her neck and shoulder is caused by a skull that carries very big words like “recession” and “pandemic.
Time once spent on reckless discovery, is eaten up by time spent carefully nit-picking in front of the bathroom mirror wondering about how she appears to other people. These days she owns all the essential lotions including creams used to keep away wrinkles that have not yet surfaced. These are the mornings when she wakes to shower and put on clothes carefully chosen three days before.
The girl has grown into a woman who sees only endings no new beginnings
Everyday is a day spent in worrying about what has already passed and the unknown yet to come until the day comes when they find her crushed and grinded on the tracks under the weight of all of it. Ask anyone who was there and they will tell you, it was her worries of living, of dying and everything in between that finally did her in.