Behind The Smiles

To all my friends and people I know
I am the outgoing one
That's always first one out the blocks
To the sound of the starting gun

The guy who'll make you laugh out loud
With tales of unchecked wit
And make you feel that you could fall
From out the chair you sit

But behind the smiles lies an unsure soul
Who constantly feels lost
And never more so than when with you
For with you he could lose the most

He knows that he makes unfair demands
Upon your rebuilding heart
And that it's probably been that way
Right from the very start

He truly doesn't mean to push
Your feelings to the fore
For when he does he sees unease
And wonders if he's closed the door

Some thoughts aloud he says to you
He instantly regrets
And then all he can do is but hope
These words you will forget

He knows that this time's hard for you
And you're doing the best you can
And the last thing that you need from him
Are insecurities of a selfish man

All he can say in his defence
Is he feels you are the one
So sometimes he forgets it's not a race
And instead of walking, he does run

But it's only because he cares for you
He doesn't know how to partake
He just prays that you are strong enough to know
When he keeps making mistakes

That it's not because of things you've done
Or of things you think you've said
It's the stupid thoughts he makes from nought
That try to poison his empty head

He just wishes he was as strong as you
And could take each day as it comes
Then at least he'd not believe so much
And fear his hopes will turn to crumbs

And it's strange for he remembers when
There was a time he was as strong
But broken hearts and lies and evil deceit
Made sure he hasn't felt strength for so long

And at times when silence takes his voice
And there are no words to say
It's only because he fears you won't return again
To his arms when you go away

So please don't blame him for his moods
When you feel he's turned his back
For you couldn't be further from the truth
If you feel under attack

For this man would lay down his life for you
And he'd walk a thousand miles
Just to make everything right for you
For you to never lose your smiles

He just wishes he could make you see
That his biggest fear of all
Is letting you down when you need him most
He couldn't bear to watch you fall

So his soul he'll try to share with you
And his fears he'll try allay
But sometimes the words will still be wrong
Please don't hate him, it's just his way

Now he hopes that his way, he's explained
And you see him for what he is
He's a simple man who doesn't want to lose you, girl
For it doesn't get better than this.