the consequentialist

chain reaction
dominates this life
& to walk astray from
this path, creates a
domino effect of which
not one part can
separate itself.

walking then with
a lucid conscience,
walking carefully,
can become a burden,
as paranoia, anxiety &
nervousness
culminates,
piling up atop the back
like an endless stack of
cinder blocks.

balancing on the beam,
wondering why s/he got up
on the beam, wondering
if anyone sees him/her on
the beam, wondering how
that will affect them,
wondering if they will take it
with them (consciously/
unconsciously),
panicking that the beam
will shake & if one
shakes where will one
fall & if one calls for
help, what will become of
the sound?

monitoring the actions of
the self so completely,
one would be able to sleep
the soundest of sleeps,
having not sent the whole of
the world into chaos
with a single blow,
however,
one cannot sleep if one
cannot leave the beam
to lay down---
consequentially,
s/he must learn to sleep
standing up.