friendless hardship & the apologies thereafter

“rains when it pours,”
oh how sweet the wreck
topples down the mountain to
crash out into a million
burning pieces---
if one has someone beside them,
there is a lens that glows
(and one’s sight isn’t seared
blind so quickly),
where shining light of
friendship
throws weight on the other side of
the teeter-totter,
to make the panic stop,
to hold each other together,
to get through.

but all are not so fortunate,
not all get to walk the most difficult parts
of this path to nowhere,
with warm loving hands held round them,
not all get a smile to
calm the torment, not all
get to see a comforting,
recognizable face,
when they need it the most.

so many walk alone & when the worst shows its
face, they die
inside,
in order to preserve whatever physical energy
they have left---
for THIS is how they get through.

&
when the smoke clears,
if in fact it does,
there are those who show their heads later,
bearing a face of shame
that they weren’t there,
that the selfishness on the other side of
30,
brought its toll &
all the responsibilities that one
accumulates,
gets in the way of what had been,
so that the
“friend”
somehow forgot, showing up late
with a 100,000
apologies,
aiming to mend.
aiming to resuscitate
what is already
dead & gone.