hunter s.

after riding
with the
hell’s angels,
running for
sheriff of
pitkin county
in colorado
(speaking on
the “freak power”
platform---from
which he swore
that if he won---he
would
tear up all the
streets, replacing
them with newly
sodden, “never
take mescaline
whilst on duty,”
and legalize all
drugs to be used
solely for the
purpose of
recreation),
& climaxing his
life in the epic
saga of fear &
loathing, along
with his faithful
cohort (and attorney)---
none other than the
brown buffalo
himself---hunter s.
& oscar packed
“2 bags of grass,
75 pellets of mescaline,
5 sheets of high-
powered blotter acid,
a salt shaker half full of
cocaine, and a whole
galaxy of multi-colored
uppers,
downers,
screamers,
laughers…a quart of
tequila, a quart of rum,
a case of beer, a pint of
raw
ether, and 2 dozen
amyls,”
no doubt sending the
both of them reeling
into a frenzy that was
sufficiently documented
in his most famous book.

but it must have been during
his time spent trying to
uncover the “reasons” for
hemingway’s suicide, that he
himself started to think
about his own mortality, as
well as the extent to which he
would continue to write,
before illness or writer’s
block (amidst anything else
that springs suddenly upon
us) would inevitably destroy
his ability to express himself.

it wasn’t long before all this
actually happened, and at
age 67, hunter stating in
what his family regards as his
suicide note---aptly entitled
“football season is over,”
he stated that he had lived 17
years too long---at age 50
he had become boring & old.

unlike hemingway, who had
been locked away getting
electroconvulsive therapy
before being let out into the world
deteriorated & destroyed two days
before he put his favorite
shotgun’s barrel in his mouth---
hunter had thought long and
hard about his decision
beforehand.
he was on the phone with his
then-wife, anita, when he
ended it.

here was a man who lived by
his own rules & no one
else’s---whose energy so
explosive & interesting,
could only have lasted as
long as it had & not a moment
longer.

in being ahead of the curve,
& in being full awareness of
the utter shortness of being
(“being” defined as those
years that the individual in
question understands to be
valuable to them), he blew
out his own flame.

whoosh.