the musical remembrance masochist

these once beautiful songs that were held within
you & your lover’s heart
together
forever
as if such an impossibility was
possible,
now sing backwards at you
from the stereo in your car
from the ipod
from the surround system in your dwelling
where you now reside
alone &
without.

what makes you play the song again &
again?
you understand that it brings only pain
but it conjures up images that make you believe that the
failed relationship
had something in it that was perfect
something that will never be attained again---
in retrospect,
like at a funeral,
you try & focus on what was good about the whole thing,
yet, what is true
what hits you in the face every time select the song
is the reality that
this song, this melody,
was one piece in the greater puzzle that broke when it was
slammed violently on the ground
splintering & smashing all over,
never to be put back together again
like a hammer to a Fabergé egg.

why continue this pattern,
you musical remembrance masochist?
only tearing up your own insides with razorblades,
free yourself from this repetitive torture---
destroy them,
burn them,
erase them all---
every single one &
stop singing these songs
whose words no longer mean anything.

respect yourself.