when the plant door closes

when the plant door closes,
it causes a loud sound which creates pain in the ears
echoing throughout the brain like a rock being thrown in an
empty metal garbage can---
and with the pulsating thump still pounding on the inside of
the skull,
then follows the mix of desperation and anxiety,
making its way into the
bloodstream---
forcing the seemingly paralyzed legs to move,
you then walk out into the parking lot with the weight
of the world falling down upon the shoulders,
and if you weren’t outside in the fresh air,
you might very well suffocate standing up.

the first thing that goes through your head is a blinding anger---
it is basically intangible,
but it speaks from the gut & it wants to destroy---
it wants to wring the necks of those that are responsible for
taking your job,
it wants to burn down the plant you’ve just left,
and all the houses of those that participated in ruining your own life---
for most,
this feeling subsides a bit when the overwhelming
“what am i gonna do now?”
infiltrates the mind.

so how are you going to pick up the pieces of your individual life?---
for those with families,
not only has the loss of income come at the worst time
(because there never is a “better” time),
but with your job goes your health care & thus
the healthcare of your family members who were on your plan---
the reality is you have severely endangered the lives of your most loved ones,
by having been on time to work every day,
by having worked over 40 hours every week &
by working harder than you ever have in your life.

sure,
you heard rumors a few months ago that there might be a move to
costa rica or mexico,
with the foreknowledge that the company that resided in your very building
in which you then currently worked,
collapsed in on itself just a few years ago---
it promised the same kind of progress as your company did
it spoke monthly of the surging profits &
then it downsized, getting rid of everything but the first shift,
and then subsequently
jumped the border within a few months.

when “the holiday season” is just around the bend,
for some reason, you don’t think it will happen
to you---
all the rumors of plants cutting jobs and closing in your area
make you shiver for a couple of seconds,
but then you assume that your company is the strongest
(because that’s what they tell you in your monthly meetings)---
it doesn’t make sense that a company doing so well,
pushing for so much overtime,
grinding its workers to the bone,
would ever in a million years,
close,
but that is exactly what happens.

so during the coldest months of the winter,
now you are unemployed &
you take a place in line with the other
14+ million jobless individuals
who walk the streets looking
for work
(braving the blistering cold)
or
sit at home
(bundled up inside because you have to keep the thermostat down
so as to keep the heating bill as low as possible),
waiting for that utopic call which
will make things make sense again.

and you register with all the temp agencies that you can,
because there are no permanent jobs anymore---
there may have been when you started working at the plant,
but all those possibilities have dried up
with the rest of the well---
and while at home,
you watch the television,
seeing the pretty politicians in their clean & expensive suits
speak of all their big ideas,
which if you elect them in the oncoming year,
they will make all your dreams come true---
but you’ve lived long enough to know that
“the american dream” is nothing more than the maggot-ridden
excrement that pops out of the mouths of those with
money,
when they ramble on about how this is
the greatest country in the world.

unlike them, whose pockets will continue to be filled,
you have alcoholism,
divorce, spousal abuse,
substance abuse, and maybe even
homelessness to look forward to---
and like anyone,
all you wanted was to be happy---
you took it upon yourself to make your money &
follow the rules of the country that you lived in---
you fulfilled all your obligations,
you lived up to all your responsibilities,
you walked the straight line,
you did just what you were supposed to do.

if only any of that mattered.