Mistaken Identity

I love my bathroom.

It's minimalistic and super-clean, so when l saw two little, black dots in the wash basin, there was only one explanation.

The wee moose wiz back.

Y u c k yes, but let's just get stuck in an' examine the evidence. Hard droppings mean it's old, soft and it's new. Well that's what the mooseman told me when he left, eighty four quid up.

I can't tell you how annoying this was. I had a busy day planned, and thinking about a mouse urinating, defacating over my sparklingly clean room, irritated me.

I had a quick shufty in the bedrooms. No black rice bits on the covers. None on the window ledges. All good so far.

As l opened up the linen cupboard, l noticed about six or seven black bits on the floor, just outside the door. Oh no! That means l'd have to machine wash all my sheets and towels again. Mice are incontinent apparently. Peeing and crapping as the go. These look really shiny, almost like black shells, or casings. Weird.

After l'd chucked the bits out the window and swished boiling hot shower spray around the bath, scooshed Mr Muscle over and around the sink area, a bit of bleach down the pan, l threw my toothbrush in the trash.

Feckin' mice.

I was thinking as l blow dried my hair, that there must be a hole or space it had came back through, because l'd got the all clear from Rodent Reg in November. l'd give him a call from the bus, on way to work. No time right now.

I stuck my hair up with kirby grips. Too late for the curling tongs and all that malarkey. I must get more from Boots later. They're all jaggy, sore when l shove them in to hold my hair up. That's all l need. Where's that coat?

'Can you send me a picture as l don't recognise your description. Shiny, black casings you say. No, sorry. I can't identify them. You chucked them out? Oh. Ok. Well, keep in touch. Bye'.

When l got home, it was late and l couldn't be bothered. It's only a wee moose, after all. No an elephant.

As l pulled my hair free, l had to tug the bloomin' kirbys out. They were stuck, and the ends getting caught up in my mop of hair.

As l pulled, three shiny, black ends fell into the white porcelain.

How very funny. I actually tee hee'd, LOL. Silly bugger.

Problem solved.

Well THIS one, anyway