"Checkout" Scene Four Supermarket Teashop Morning

“Checkout”

Scene Four Supermarket Teashop Morning

The spinster sisters, Olive and Gwen are sitting deep in conversation with two cups of tea getting cold. Leanne and Mel are close by and Leanne is looking annoyed.

Leanne:
I told him, “Garry,” I said “there’s no way I’m having your sister as a bridesmaid.”

Mel:
What did he say to that?

Leanne:
Not much, went a bit sulky. But I said “Look Garry, if we have your sister then apart from the wedding cars we’ll have to hire a removal lorry and how many of those have you seen with white ribbon on the front?”

Mel:
Blimey. Then what?

Leanne:
He said what about a tractor and trailer?

Mel:
No!

Leanne:
That’s right. No! I said it’s not what I want on my wedding day. It is supposed to be my day after all.

Mel:
And Garry’s.

Leanne:
Course…Garry’s. Are you gonna get us something to eat?

Mel:
What do you want?

Leanne:
Just a skinny latte…oh, and a salad sandwich…no, I won’t. I’ll have an egg and bacon bun…a double choc chip cookie and a blueberry muffin. Blueberries are meant to be good for you. What you having?

Mel:
I’m not really hungry…I think I’ll just have…a Tuna melt Pannini…and a bowl of chips…oh, and if you say blueberries are good for you then I best have one of them too. I always thought it was cranberries.

Leanne:
Cranberries! Then best get me a cranberry muffin as well. And you needn’t look like that. Blueberries, Cranberries…part of my five a day! Oh, and I’ll have a bowl of chips too.

Mel:
This business with Garry’s sister has upset you. I can tell.

Leanne:
Really?

Mel:
Anyway, now she knows she’s not going to be a bridesmaid has she got her outfit yet?

Leanne:
You must be joking! Can’t find anything to fit her.

Mel:
Tell her to look on the web.

Leanne:
Look on it…she should buy it! The world-wide web is about the only thing that will go round her.

Mel:
She is big…is it because she’s greedy?

Leanne:
She’ll eat anything that doesn’t move. Whenever I go round there I keep running on the spot!

Mel:
But Garry’s all right about it now?

Olive:
Not really but the Tea Dance is definitely on. She told me she’d cleared it with Head Office. I must say I’m surprised.

Gwen:
I’m not. It’s because you foiled that robbery. You were magnificent…blocking the exit like that.

Olive:
Only because I couldn’t find rever… Yes, well having such a wealth of driving experience I can deal with any situation that presents itself.

Gwen:
That’s why she’s agreed to the Tea Dance. She feels obligated.

Olive:
AND she’s hoping we will encourage more of our WI ladies to shop here. She said we were exactly the type of customer she wishes to attract to her store. Not the usual riff-raff.

Gwen:
Where is she going to hold it?

Olive:
Upstairs in the Staff Canteen.

Mel:
Really, I’ve heard it’s very expensive there.

Leanne:
Yes, but we’re worth it.

Mel:
So have you finally decided what you’re having for the Sit Down?

Olive:
Pickled Walnuts!

Gwen:
Seems a strange choice.

Olive:
Yes that’s what I thought so I said “Is that wise, these are elderly ladies?”

Gwen:
What did she say?

Olive:
She just said “What are you getting at?”

Gwen:
And what did you say?

Olive:
“Flatulence!”

Gwen:
Then what?

Olive:
She just said “Don’t be ridiculous! Your friends belong to the Women’s Institute. If anyone can be trusted with a Pickled Walnut…”

Gwen:
What did you say?

Olive:
I just said “Well, I make no secret…I have reservations.”

Gwen:
Then what?

Olive:
“Reservations!” she exploded “Reservations indeed! Why the Queen, herself, belongs to the Women’s Institute at Sandringham and I think it’s safe to assume that she can be trusted with a Pickled Walnut!”

Gwen:
Well I hope she’s prepared for the fallout.

Olive:
Yes. Where she’s got this idea that Pickled Walnuts are some kind of delicacy the ladies of the Women’s Institute can’t live without?

Gwen:
What did she say she was putting in the sandwiches.

Leanne:
Wedding Cake!

Mel:
You want me to collect your wedding cake?

Leanne:
Yes, I don’t want it to go to Garry’s. She’ll chomp her way through it.

Mel:
Well, if you really want me to. I’ll go one day next week. Now, shall I go and order the food?

Olive:
Yes, tea please …and a Chelsea Bun!

End of Scene