Death is My Living - A Wake Up Call - Late I.P. updated

Death is My Living – A Wake Up Call (Late I.P.) Updated                  

 I have such a serious sombre face,

That lends itself to a funereal pace.

So I slowly walk in front of the hearse,

Something I’ve learned, so no need to rehearse.

 

But so-called friends of mine unkindly say,

My face looks stuck in perpetual dismay.

It’s true my face is plain miserable,

But for my work it’s very suitable.

 

And I know friends speak the truth, so I yield,

Knowing my face does look like a ploughed field.

With lines so deep I could grow a fine crop,

But I’m getting upset now, so best that we stop.

 

It’s not a strange way to earn a living,

With all the deceased’s relatives giving,

A fee that will cover all my expense,

Cash my preferred method of recompense.

 

All dressed in black with my finest top hat,

I set out to lead for a diplomat.

I led the cortege with a dignified air,

His wife followed on with his son and heir.

 

The time before was for an acrobat,

So out came the top hat and the cravat.

In order to show respect for the corpse,

I led along the seafront at Cleethorpes.

 

Now if I’m clever and make no mistake,

I get an invite to the deceased’s wake.

A wake is only as good as the food,

But with drink in hand I soon change the mood.

 

Handled right wakes can be quite good fun,

Providing the food and drink are professionally done.

But first make certain that you are a guest,

And not the poor sod we’ve just laid to rest!