Springing to Life! (I P)

Springing to Life! (I P)

I have had it up to here with her.
She’s really getting on my tits
With her non-stop chattering
And all her so called funny bits
I knew there would come a time
When she would start to groan
But thought she would eventually stop
That irritating, whining, unceasing moan!

What she finds to complain about
Is beyond my understanding
One day she made such a fuss
Over a minor misunderstanding
So I came up with a devious plan
As she was always on about
The garden being down to me
In her mind there was no doubt

But if that is how she wants to play it
Then sod her I’ll just dig up a flower bed
Though that won’t satisfy her ladyship
Because I’m defying what she said
But if she will be so very good
As to allow me to do it in daylight
And I’m given sufficient time to spend
I’ll dig up the whole of the garden
Yes, I told her I’ll do it this weekend

I said ‘If I dig up all your flowers
Then don’t dare show your dismay
I’ve told you I’m no gardener
And you might just rue the day.’
Then one morning my neighbour said
‘You’ve worked so hard on that plot
What kind of compost did you use?
And how did you make it rot?

I’m amazed the way your plants are springing into life’
‘Yes, it is a good job done because I’ve composted the wife!’