The world according to Charlie Snape

It wasn't surprising he was lonely. He hadn't been to a barber in over forty years; this presenting as less of a problem as his hair grew thinner.
Auntie Het had done her utmost to get him to see the error of his ways but he was set for a lonely,scruffy life with no wife, unless a match appeared.She tried to bin his smelly moccasin but he loved those lived in comfortable shoes so much that he rescued them from the dustbin where they nestled with discarded stew and dumplings solid. She later found Charlie sat in his chair, beside his dwindling fire, fixing them with string and grinning back at her.

He didn't bother with outfitters or shoe-makers but waited for someones hand-me-downs; never bothering about the fit. If his trousers didn't fit his clothes prop figure he would secure with a tie or two; knotting them the boys-brigade way from decades ago.

The Job Centre sent to him work at the local libary for work experience. Obliging he went in his scruffiest clothes; after all it was his human rights and anyway he did wash fortnightly. On later being requested to smarten up he purchased a brand new handkerchief and pushed the boat out further by buying, from the market of course, a brand new pair of laces.

His terraced house, where once his parents lived, was stuffed with records or tapes he couldn't play as well as meccano and bike helmets. All he needed was a bike. He hadn't pulled his sitting room curtains back in over seven years and only one gas ring worked. None of this bothered him as he was still king of his castle as well as the cascading rubbish and beloved pets buried in his back garden. Charlie knew he was clever and so how to out-smart others who had a sad tendency to look down on him as he shuffled through a system that just didn't fit him. People didn't argue directly with Mr Snape but did mutter beind his back, as he ate dog biscuits in his local cafe, how he could mend his ways and find a job doing anything.
If god had wanted him to work in a kitchen then he would have been born with a pinny; this saying was often addapted to suit the situation.
He could be discribed as taking a minimalistic approach to life; this could best be explained by saying the toothbrush he used to clean his teeth, could, after a swift rinse, be used to clean the toilet bowl very clean.
Supermarkets caused him stress. He couldn't see anything wrong with putting his wire basket, complete with his motley assortment of delights, onto the conveyor belt and watch it trundle on serenely to the assistant who did her best to not look back at him. He would then pay, from deep within his stitched up pocket, several handful of coins whilst saying very loudly 'Thank You Me Duck; you are a pet before.......off!