The Deadly Sixth

Cherry

By Ewan

Sun, 01 Feb 2009
  • 1867 reads
7 comments
 

See me coming with my hollow grin,
the hidden feeling stretching it thin.
I know well what you have done.

Flint in my heart at your success,
from the warmest kiss you'd never guess:
in your victory I feel my loss.

The lightest banter hides the darkest heart,
the greatest praise a dismissal of art.
I use flattery and cover hurt.

My soul should surely attempt to fill
with joy for you, although it never will.
I still know that you've done well.

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by jennifer on
Wow, Ewan, I think this might be one of your best. I think this: 'in your victory I feel my loss.' is my favourite line, although there are so many smashers, it's hard to highlight one above the rest! Do you have green eyes, by any chance? J x

 

Submitted by tamara on
It is 'word for word' wise and perfect and the rhythm and rhyming is beautiful.

Submitted by chuck on
It's absolutely wonderful ewan. (You clever bastard)

Submitted by Geoff Smith on
Tight, focussed and pretty blinking astounding. I love the half-rhymes at the end of stanza... Christ, all this flattery is killing me. Loved it. JM

Thanks for reading. I am grateful for your time.

Submitted by Ewan on
Ha, Jen, no they're not green, but a cold,cold blue.

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by jennifer on
Doubly cold? Have you been staring at the ice cubes in your Gin and Tonic too long, perhaps?!! J x

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Nice one, 'Old Blue Eyes'! You should be cherry picking shortly, I'd imagine. ;) Chris